Technology and the Unfaithful Spouse

"It takes quite a shock on your heart when you realize that the person that you think you're so in love with is so not telling you the truth," she said.

She says she feels her snooping was justified, because what she uncovered was her own worst nightmare. Her fiancé was making elaborate wedding plans -- but with another woman.

Suspicious e-mails tipped her off. But despite concrete evidence of his cheating, she says she couldn't bring herself to break up with him.

High-tech snooping is now part of popular culture. In the movie "Little Black Book," the heroine cracks the code on her boyfriend's Palm Pilot. Complete with addresses and photos, the device provides a trail of electronic fingerprints showing where he's been and with whom.

In the film what the heroine uncovers kills the relationship.

Rebuilding Broken Trust

Snooping wreaked havoc in Peta and James' marriage, too. Trust had broken down -- on both sides.

James didn't like being spied on, but does he think the software is a good idea? "No. And yes," he said.

"From a personal perspective, no, I don't. I don't like it, because I was busted. But a positive has come out of that," James said.

That rather remarkable positive is that neither Peta nor James wanted to end the marriage.

Relationship experts say that's a healthy sign because facing the truth can help salvage a relationship.

James says he strayed because of personal demons, not because he'd fallen "out of love." He's working on trying to stay faithful through one-on-one and couple's counseling.

"It's allowed me to confront those feelings of low self esteem and the need for validation from someone other than my wife. And work on those issues," he said.

Peta says she has no regrets about using technology to snoop on James. In fact, they both agree it's something of an insurance policy.

"It's a protective measure for me. It allows me to feel safe, it allows me to feel sane," Peta said.