Working Wounded Blog: Apology Inc.

Oct. 10, 2007 — -- For 10 years, I had a workplace confessional on the Working Wounded Web site. It was fascinating, people would confess their workplace sins and then others could provide either absolution or damnation. This forum about what really happens at work quickly became the opposite of all the Pollyanna-ish conversations that take place in MBA programs and business magazines.

After reading thousands of sins, I learned that many of us go too far in the name of commerce. We're human, so mistakes, and other acts that require a confession, are part of the dance.

But don't take my word for it. Just type in the word "apology" on Google and you'll get 8,230,000 links. With so many destinations for apologies, you'd think we'd be getting better and giving them. Think again.

Just in the last few weeks we've had Marion Jones, Sen. Larry Craig and Michael Vick giving very public apologies. Before I get to the actual nuts and bolts of what makes for an effective apology and how you can try to get out of your boss's or a co-workers doghouse, please pardon a brief, but very relevant, tangent.

Am I the only person who has noticed that there is an entire industry that has sprung up around apologies? I call it Apology Inc. These are the people who evaluate the apologies of people like Marion, Larry and Michael. The comment on your tears, your sincerity, how long it took you to get around to give the apology and, my favorite, whether you read your apology from notes or spoke from the heart.

OK, if you get caught faking your expense report or you fail to get an important report done on the date it was due, there won't be people with cameras and microphones evaluating your apology. But chances are pretty good that the person that you are apologizing to has watched the armchair apology quarterbacks a time or two and is more savvy than you think about what goes into an effective apology. In other words, apology expectations are much higher than they used to be, whether we like it or not.