Moving Back in With Mom and Dad

Money was key in Eric Tracey's decision to move back home. When he decided to enroll in graduate school to earn a master's degree in special education, "I just wasn't going to be able to pay for living by myself in an apartment," the Rhode Island resident said. "I'm going to spend the money on school. Who needs more loans? I'd rather pay for school right off the bat."

The adjustment has gone reasonably well, he says. "My parents are pretty cool. I don't have to check in with them. They don't worry about what time I go out or when I come in."

Eric gets up early for his teaching job. He has learned to be quiet so he doesn't wake anyone.

"When I come back after school, I have to do my work. But Mom and Dad want to talk to me, the TV's going, there's stuff happening in the kitchen. The only adjustment has been getting over the noises and getting used to the family interaction again.

"I can't sneak up to my room because the computer resources I need are in one area of the house. But I know I'm welcome here, so that's helpful. I know with some people that might not happen."

Parental Perspective

His parents, Doreen, 49, and Kevin, 51, enjoy having their son around. Doreen says, "I'm happy to have him here, definitely. He's company. He keeps us company."

She cooks more with Eric home, and spends more time -- and money -- at the grocery store.

"We go through a lot of milk now. Before, I was buying a quart of milk a week, which sometimes lasted two weeks. Now we're up to two gallons a week! It's so weird."

Her son "cuts the lawn, goes to the dump, does stuff around the house," she says.

"He doesn't do housework, believe me. But he does the outside stuff. I never have to ask him to do anything." Meanwhile, Eric is getting excellent grades in school. "Better than he ever got before. So it's working for him."

Not every trip back to the nest goes as well.

Tips to Smooth the Move

Gordon's suggestions:

"This is a perfect time to do the last part of parenting," she advises. "You're not the boss, you're the coach." Act as a sounding board for your adult child; help him or her see different perspectives before they make their own decisions.