Holiday Parties Are a Headache for Managers

Drunken outbursts and tasteless gifts can ruin a holiday party -- or a career.

ByABC News
December 13, 2005, 5:38 PM

Dec. 15, 2005 — -- 'Tis the season to get trapped in a corner with the drunk tech support assistant from two cubicles over who won't stop talking about interfacing protocols -- he's boring, boorish and bound to do something stupid at any minute. Welcome to your 2005 office holiday party!

If this sounds like something you've experienced, you're not alone.

Business owners and managers struggle every year with holiday party planning. Pleasing every employee is difficult, and policing the actions of party attendants often sauced on holiday spirits is a burden that can kill the party and even careers.

Debbie Freeman owns a medical records storage business in a Fresno, Calif. It's a 14-person company in which most of the employees get along happily. Freeman has organized holiday parties for the past 17 years and tries to keep the events fresh.

Her parties have included an outing to a local Indian casino and a progressive dinner at several local upscale restaurants. She rents out a bus or even a limousine to make sure everyone has safe, sober transportation to the parties -- and helps limits her potential legal liabilities.

Many companies have stopped serving drinks or cut out parties altogether in recent years to avoid drinking-related liabilities. But Freeman thinks her employees deserve a good time.

"I try to give the impression that I go the extra mile for them the same way they've gone the extra mile for the company all year," Freeman said.

But not all have ended well.

"The progressive dinner ended up flopping for most of them," Freeman said. "We had one employee who was underage but was served alcohol at the restaurant. She started throwing up in the limo right after the dinner. It was a disaster."

With the limo soiled, the rest of the party agreed to call it a night, only halfway through the events Freeman had paid $4,000 to set up.

Freeman said she's had several bad incidents with drunk employees, including one year when a worker attempted to fight her boyfriend, and another when her own husband hit the booze too hard.

The drunken lout is the most common killer of the office party, according to Marjorie Brody, president of Brody Communications, a business consulting firm in Philadelphia. Brody advises clients to remind their employees that appropriate behavior is expected, even when the drinks are flowing.

"If you can normally handle two drinks, then have one, and drink it with food," she said.

One way to ensure this is to stress the fact that it's an office function. Though it is a party, one out-of-control night can put the brakes on an otherwise promising career.

"It's all about judgment, and it can be a career-killer," she said. "If you're groping, kissing or acting stupid in front of the CEO, the next time you're up for promotion they're going to think about your lack of judgment and control."

Pleasing everyone is another problem. At the casino night, Freeman gave each employee $50 to gamble. The ones who lost early were soon complaining that they wanted to go home, while others continued to happily hit the tables. She now waits until shortly before each event to announce plans -- an attempt at limiting the number of complaints she hears before the party.

"You want to reward them with something nice, but sometimes people just don't appreciate nice things," she said. "I'm sort of stumped for what to do next."

Brody said the best way to prevent bad feelings is to let the employees plan their own festivities. Setting out a budget and taking suggestions from the entire office is a good way to take the onus off the manager.

"Get a committee made up of employees and let them make the decision," she said. "The employer is always wrong when it comes to these things, so the best thing is to let them decide what they want to do."

"We had a fortune teller last year, and they loved it, but they didn't want to do it this year. That's fine with me," she said.

The exchange of presents with co-workers can be fun and humorous, but Brody advises clients and her own employees to put parameters on how much the gifts should cost. A ceiling of about $20 is usually sufficient, she said. If employees would like to give something more personal to one or two close friends in the office, that exchange should take place out of sight from everyone else.

It's also useful to remind employees that gifts can be funny or unusual but should remain tasteful and not too personal.

"I know of one male manager that gave hand lotion as part of a gift basket to a female employee. She was furious -- she thought it was much too personal. You never know what some people will take personally," Brody said.

One twist that can alleviate some of the problems with a gift exchange is the White Elephant party, at which each employee brings in a gift and then turns it in for a raffle number. They then choose gifts in the order of the numbers they received and open them in front of everyone. But there is a twist -- the people with higher numbers have the option of taking one of the gifts previously opened by a co-worker or taking one of the unopened gifts.

The goal is to keep the event light-hearted. Spending parameters are set up ahead of time, and the gifts are distributed randomly, ensuring that no one will be left out or take offense at a gift they think is too personal.

"It sets up a situation where things are more spontaneous and gives people the opportunity to get creative with their gifts," said John Moore, president of the marketing firm Brand Autopsy. Moore consults with businesses on their marketing practices and has begun recommending White Elephant parties as a way for employees to get to know one another and think creatively.

"So many folks dread going to holiday parties because they're boring and they don't want to have to talk to people who they don't know outside of work. This gives them a chance to learn more about the people they work with," he said.