How To Have A Successful Office Romance

Chances are, you've gotten it on with a colleague. According to a 2009 survey by the job search Web...

Chances are, you've gotten it on with a colleague. According to a 2009 survey by the job search Web site CareerBuilder.com, four out of 10 workers say they've dated a colleague at some point in their careers. Three in 10 say they married the person they dated at work.

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Chances are, you've gotten it on with a colleague. According to a 2009 survey by the job search Web site CareerBuilder.com, four out of 10 workers say they've dated a colleague at some point in their careers. Three in 10 say they married the person they dated at work.

The office seems to be a hotbed of romance and a more effective one than dating Web sites or the corner bar. Helaine Olen, co-author with Stephanie Losee of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding--and Managing--Romance on the Job , says the workplace is where most people find love these days. "The office has turned into the village of the 21st century," she says. "Where else do you spend 12 hours a day?"

Click here to learn more about how to have a successful office romance at our partner site, Forbes.com.

And fewer workers are keeping their romances secret. CareerBuilder found that 72% of workers who have office relationships are public with them, compared with 46% five years ago. The survey, of 8,000 workers, was conducted for CareerBuilder by Harris Interactive.

While people are more relaxed about office dating than they were in the post-Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas 1990s, workplace romance is still fraught with peril. Worst case scenario, says employment attorney Kathleen McKenna, of New York's Proskauer Rose law firm: A boss-underling affair that goes south and results in a sexual harassment suit. Such suits are based on either a claim of a hostile work environment or a charge that there was f-me-or-you're-fired quid pro quo harassment.

Which brings us to our first rule of office dating: Avoid a supervisor-supervisee relationship. Especially for the person in the supervisor's seat, such a relationship is "criminally stupid," says McKenna. "You might as well put a sign on your forehead that says, 'Kick me here.'" McKenna acts mainly as a defense lawyer.

Edward Hernstadt, a plaintiff-side employment lawyer with the New York firm Hernstadt Atlas, agrees. An employee can make a claim that she (it's usually a she) wouldn't have dated the boss if she hadn't felt compelled. "The supervisor will say, 'I just asked you to go on a date,'" says Hernstadt. "But the subordinate says, 'I felt I couldn't say no.'"