Economics says that sometimes, at least, the best thing is to simply shut up and stay angry. Human instinct called loss aversion can keep a couple arguing long after it's productive, simply out of stubbornness. It's the same instinct that drives a stock trader to hold on to a losing company long after he should have sold.
"We hate to lose. Economists have quantified that we hate to lose twice as much as we like to win," said Anderson.
So to combat that instinct, they say, it's better simply to go to bed angry and wake up in the morning with a clear head.
And even when frustrations boil over, Szuchman and Anderson say it's vital to remember how great marriage can be and try to make things work.
"Marriage is a long term investment," said Szuchman. "The last thing you want to do, when you start panicking that life isn't as sweet as it used to be, is run out the door looking for a replacement."