Dani or Bobby? If you're a certain age and perhaps of a certain sexual orientation you know what I'm talking about.
MTV's hot reality show "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" ends tonight with Tequila choosing between a 29-year-old female firefighter, Dani, and a 25-year-old male student, Bobby. The premise of the show is that Tequila is a bisexual, so both men and women vied for her affection on camera. And if you don't know who Tila Tequila is, well, you can head on over to MySpace.com/tilatequila along with about 2 million other people.
"It's a guilty pleasure," said Sheela Lambert, founder of Biwriters.org, who writes about bisexuals in the media on her blog Bidar. "It's the right kind of sexy and ridiculous emotional meltdown."
Sexy and ridiculous, as in body shots, bikinis and bondage -- 24/7. But for bisexuals the show is also a mixed blessing.
"This current television season, we've witnessed a trend," said Lambert. "It's both shocking and delightful that there are more bisexuals on television. But with this show there are mixed feelings. Some people really hate the show. Some people are concerned about the image. If we weren't worried about our image it would be really fun to watch. I mean people wear nothing but bikinis all day and give lap dances to grandmas."
Despite, or perhaps because of, the camp factor, MTV seems to have a minor hit on its hands. "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" is one of the cable channels' most-watched shows. And the show also often places in the Top 15 most-watched shows on all of cable.
There's no question that being "bi" is hipper than being heterosexual right now -- at least on television. "Nip/Tuck," the "L word," "Cashmere Mafia" all have characters who are "bi" or who have "bi" tendencies.
But there also seems to be something about Tila Tequila herself -- a 25-year-old Internet sensation known for having more friends than anyone else on MySpace -- 2,481,140 to be exact.
John Kubicek of Buddy TV, a Web site that tracks television content, said the show is a fan favorite on the site. "People enjoy her. They think she's is fun and light and energetic and sexy.
Tequila would seem to be an improbable sex symbol. She is a 25-year-old French-Vietnamese former calendar model who grew up on the mean streets of Houston. She's not tall, not blond and definitely more kewpie doll than Barbie doll. Sure she's busty, but so are millions of other women on the Internet and they don't have their own reality show.
"She's not your typical American beauty queen. ... There is an exotic nature and flavor to her beauty. But beyond her physical looks she is so in charge of and comfortable with her sexuality. She isn't afraid to flaunt it. And she makes no excuses for it," said Yvonne Fulbright, an author and sexologist who runs the Web site SexualitySource.com.
Fulbright added that sexiness often has nothing to do with looks. "Really, what it boils down to is attitude. What makes a woman sexy, whether she is pretty or homely, is all about how she embraces herself, her confidence in the bedroom and out."
That simple concept may have some deep evolutionary underpinnings.
Nonphysical attributes such as respect, familiarity, willingness to work hard, and shared goals may contribute as much or more to the perception of attractiveness than youth or beauty, said Kevin Kniffin, an evolutionary anthropologist and honorary fellow at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.