Now in theaters: Suspect Zero, Hero, SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and Open Water.
Suspect Zero is about a serial killer who kills other serial killers. It's a great idea, a great commercial, and if the movie lasted 30 seconds, it might actually be great too.
Aaron Eckhart and Carrie-Anne Moss play a new breed of FBI agent. The bureau has been in so much hot water of late, they must have changed their requirements to get in. Now you have to be boring.
Ben Kingsley, who may or may not be the killer, plays a former agent from back in the day when they hired good actors. He's been trained to see crimes before they happen. If so, why did he say yes to this film? On a scale of 1 to 10, this Suspect is a zero. Grade: D.
A great movie takes you to a place you've never been before. Hero (or Ying xiong — it's in Mandarin Chinese with English subtitles) is a great movie. Already an international blockbuster, it's grossed an amazing $140 million in Asia alone.
This is the retelling of an ancient Chinese legend, with Jet Li as a man called "Nameless" who comes to the king with the weapons of three assassins and tales of how he's slain enemies of the throne.
The battle scenes aren't meant to be taken literally. Arrows hit targets miles away; Li and his amazing adversaries float and fly. We use the same metaphors today when we talk about sports: He hit it a country mile; he flew into the end zone.
There is virtually no blood shed in Hero. The fantasy becomes magic. It's the way legends stay alive. We see a king who will unify China, become its first emperor, and build a Great Wall. Grade: A.
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2
Remember Spy Kids? An evil villain tries to use television to control the minds of children all over the world, and it's up to two kids to defeat him. It was a huge hit.
It's as if the guys who made SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 saw that film and said, "You know, we can make the same movie, except we'll make ours a bad movie." Sometimes dreams come true in Hollywood, because that's exactly what these guys did.
Instead of tweener heros — as they used in Spy Kids — this film features toddlers, and it's surreal to watch babies beat up grownups. Instead of great actor Antonio Banderas playing the dad, we have Scott Baio, who may end up a campaign issue this November. Job creation has to be up in America, because if Scott Baio can get a job as an actor, the entire Screen Actors Guild must be working.
Watching SuperBabies with my 6-year-old son, Dylan, I was afraid any minute a social worker would show up and arrest me for cruelty to children. Grade: D.
Open Water was an audience favorite at the Sundance Film Festival, which is held high in the Colorado Rockies in the middle of winter. I think audiences warmed up to the sunshine. They couldn't have liked the film.
A scuba-diving couple is abandoned by their boat and attacked by a shark. Technically, the low-budget indie film looks great. Where it fails is in basic storytelling. This couple is so narcissistic, the woman is so angry and arrogant, you root for the shark. Grade: C.