The Szish Dish: Red Carpet Boot Camp Diary, Days Three to Seven

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He somehow captures all those stray hairs with a single strand of thread hooked in his teeth. If "contact flossing" were a sport, this is what it would look like. He also tweezes and trims and threads some more, until he has achieved the perfect brow, customized to each individual client. The results are nothing short of miraculous. Who needs a face-lift when you have Koray?!

After getting the perfect brows, I sit back into the chair of Jon Patrick, one of the country's most respected colorists. He promises me a hair shine treatment that will make light dance upon each and every strand of hair on my head, giving me the glow of a true starlet, so naturally I oblige.

Jon Patrick, a silver-haired flirtatious imp whose personality is a close second to his impressive artistic ability, performs a Kerastase Chroma-Reflect ritual on my hair. The deep conditioning and repairing masque and massage leaves my tresses looking fabulous and ensures that all those flashes on the red carpet will bounce off my head with striking brilliance. Jon Patrick rules.

Days Six and Seven

The weekend! I stick to the Master Cleanse, but I skip working out in favor of extra sleep. At least all has balanced out, right? I'm left wondering if celebrities are celebrities simply because they are born with otherworldly willpower.

Tune in to the Szish Dish tomorrow. I'll be back for day eight with custom makeup potions and day nine with not-so-scary needles. Then, it's off to Los Angeles for the final Oscar red carpet countdown!

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