2004: The Year of the Boob
Dec. 28, 2004 — -- The Chinese calendar might suggest otherwise, but 2004 was the Year of the Boob -- from Britney Spears' quickie Vegas wedding, to Janet Jackson's now-legendary Super Bowl striptease, to the owners of the $28,000 grilled cheese sandwich, boobs were everywhere in 2004.
Here's a rundowns of the Top 10 Wolf Files from 2004:
1.Britney's Quickie Wedding
Celebrity marriages aren't known for longevity. Britney's 55-hour mistake of a marriage to longtime pal Jason Alexander after a night of partying in Las Vegas in January hardly qualifies as the shortest in Hollywood history. Zsa Zsa Gabor's eighth marriage, to Count Felipe de Alba of Mexico in 1982, would be hard to beat.
The mariachi wedding band had hardly stopped playing when the union was declared null and void. Gabor found she was still technically married to her seventh husband, divorce lawyer Michael O'Hara, who had extricated her from her sixth marriage. By the time she freed herself of hubby No. 7, she was ready for hubby No. 9.
Still, Spears' instant nuptials reaffirmed Sin City's primacy as the "Wedding Capital of the World." Vegas processes more than 100,000 weddings a year. The city court clerk's office stays open all night on weekends for instant marriage licenses. No blood test necessary. Just bring two forms of ID.
And, of course, fully ordained Elvis impersonators are ready to pronounce you man and wife. Trekkies can boldly go to any one of several chapels where rabbis and ministers offer traditional blessings in the sacred languages of Klingon and Vulcan.
Want to exchange vows without getting out of the car? No problem. Drive-thru chapels will do the trick. Just loosen the safety belt, so you can kiss your beloved after saying "I do," and the preacher at the drive-thru window will hand you your wedding cake in a to-go bag.
In September, Spears married her backup dancer Kevin Federline. Though she had to pay for her own engagement ring, this union, unlike the first one, lasted more than the wedding night, and is still going strong. [Full Story]
2. Janet Jackson's Bust-Out Performance
Janet Jackson's peek-a-boo Super Bowl show caused the planet Earth to temporarily spin off its axis. Whether or not you accepted the lame "wardrobe malfunction" excuse (did anyone?), it's hardly the first time a sporting event was interrupted by a celebrity's wayward breast.
In the aftermath of the Super Bowl fiasco, The Wolf Files documented a litany of celebrity fashion disasters, (sorry, no pixilated pictures of the offenders) humbly pointing out that stars should think twice before entering a big stadium in skimpy couture.
No one knows that better than former "Xena" star Lucy Lawless, who sang the national anthem at a Detroit Red Wings game a few years ago in an ultra-tight bustier. When the Warrior Princess spread her arms to belt out the final note, the land of the brave became the home of the free show. Oh, say, can you see … now? [Full Story]
3. You're Fired … and Trademarked
You can call Donald Trump greedy, but not because he trademarked his catchphrase, "You're Fired." Just about every time-honored TV quip has been registered for all sorts of businesses, from "Kiss My Grits" jams and jellies to "Eat My Shorts" underwear. Somewhere, Bart Simpson is laughing, although his creators were none to pleased with the apparent exploitation.
And what would poor old Charlie Brown say if he knew his famous exclamation "Good Grief" had been used to market a line of urns and bereavement accessories?
Trump is now one of 16 owners of the trademark, "You're Fired." None of the other trademark owners appears to be an "Apprentice" contestant Trump has fired. Maybe that's Omarosa's next move. [Full Story]
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