More Oscar Bozos

March 21, 2001 — -- When that envelope is torn open and the world holds its collective breath, some big Hollywood star will be reduced to a babbling idiot — and millions of people just love it.

Every year there's at least one new Oscar Bozo. Two weeks ago The Wolf Files wheeled out some old favorite bloopers and asked readers for some new ones.

We immediately discounted the Sally Field 1984 Oscar moment, when the newly crowned Best Actress gushed, "I can't deny the fact you like me. Right now, you like me!" That's too easy.

We also discounted past Oscar host David Letterman's tedious "Uma-Oprah" jokes.

But we investigated all promising suggestions, and herewith present this new batch of Oscar goofs and gaffes. Beneath it lies the best of last year's batch, as determined by some 250 e-mails.

The Readers' Picks

The King of Fools Award: To James Cameron. The Titanic director copped Leonardo DiCaprio's big line from the film, unabashedly shouting "I'm king of the world!" as he waved his trophy. In a halfhearted attempted to pay some tribute to the real Titanic tragedy, he then asked the audience for a moment of silence "in remembrance of the 1,500 men, women and children who died when the great ship went down." Then, he reverted to hyperventilating hysteria and yelled "Now let's party till dawn!"

The Fairy Tale Disaster Award: To Rob Lowe. In perhaps the most embarrassing Oscar opening, the 1988 organizers scripted a song and dance routine between Snow White and Lowe, who was introduced as her "blind date." Disney was so distressed that it sued.

The Windbag Award To Greer Garson. According to Oscar legend, she spent 90 rambling minutes at the podium after winning Best Actress in 1942 for Mrs. Miniver. But cooler heads say it was closer to seven minutes. Predictably, she began her speech by saying, "I'm practically unprepared."

The Brevity Is the Soul of Wit Award: To Alfred Hitchcock. After winning the Irving Thalberg Memorial Award in 1967 in recognition of his illustrious career, he muttered "Thank you," and walked offstage.