If you're serving divorce papers instead of chocolates this Valentine's Day, you might want to send along a little something from dogdoo.com, a practical jokester's Web site that sells gift packages of dung in handsome packaging. You can get the 20-pound Econo-Poop special for $15 or the PooPoo Grande for $25. Selected celebrity endorsement: The Baha Men
13. Dessert's on Me: Chocolate Body Frosting
Why give candy to your Valentine when you can be candy for your Valentine? Whip out your butter knife, smear yourself with chocolate frosting, and greet your lover in edible lingerie. "You might not want to declare to a shop clerk that you're the chocolate body frosting type," says Shira Kalish, chief shopper at Maxmanager.com, an online consumer service that helps you find gifts. "That's one way the privacy of shopping online pays off." Suggested celebrity endorsement: Rosie O'Donnell 14. Wearable Mutts: The Dog Fur Sweater
Instead of complaining about your lover's pet shedding on your suits, why not embrace it and honor Fido by turning his fur into a sweater? Customspinning.com will make your "chiengora" sweater to order. You provide the hair, they provide the loom. Most people start to look like their pets anyway. Prices quoted. Suggested celebrity endorsement: Zsa Zsa Gabor
Buck Wolf is a producer at ABCNEWS.com. The Wolf Files is a weekly feature. If you want to receive weekly notice when a new column is published, join the e-mail list.