"The thing is, though, I never thought that Michael's whole thing with kids was sexual. Never. Granted, it was miles from appropriate, but just because it wasn't normal doesn't mean that it had to be perverse." (Dr. Evan Chandler committed suicide in 2009.)
On trying to get a prostitute for her dying dad, Eddie Fisher:
"He didn't have a bucket list as it turned out. What he did have was a bucket wish. ... What my father wanted was access to the recess between a woman's legs. One last romp -- a romp at his age being a fairly limited affair, but that did not concern him.
"So one night, while I was performing my show, I made an announcement that if anyone knew any prostitutes, please leave a note with one of the ushers. I did this in large part not only to amuse and/or shock people; it turned out that it wasn't all that simple to find and secure the services of a prostitute. At least not in San Francisco in 2008. I'd spent inordinate amounts of time searching Craigslist. But after a while, I would've perused any list! Schindler's! Or Franz!" (Alas, Fisher did not end up fulfilling her father's wish.)