David Hasselhoff's new father-daughter reality show may have been cancelled after two episodes but that hasn't stopped the single dad from offering up tips for single parents.
In a video posted Monday on AOL, "the Hoff father," as Hoffman referred to himself, provided just two parenting tips. While giving a "Baywatch" worthy performance, Hoffman seemed unaware that the two tips contradicted each other:
Hoff Tip No. 1: Lie
"If you've got two sisters, make sure you lie to them about the other one stealing their clothes. If one girl, steals from the other girl, you say: 'I had no idea, she was doing that.'"
Hoff Tip No. 2: Be Honest
"You have to be honest with the kids. You have to say: 'There are consequences for your action.' Trust me, look what's happened to Dad. When Daddy does good...hmmm...great things happen. When Daddy does bad...hmmm...bad things happen. And then, you end up in the tabloids. Hmmm."
"Finally, just remember: you've got to love your kids," he concluded in the video.
Hoff may love his daughters Taylor Ann and Hayley but audiences weren't so keen on their real-life family drama. A&E pulled the plug on "The Hasselhoffs" earlier this month after the second episode drew only 505,000 viewers, about 200,000 less than the premiere.
The show followed the "Baywatch" star and former "America's Got Talent" judge as he guided his daughter's fledgling music careers. Hoff had two hit records in Germany at the end of the 80s.
Before the show aired, he told People magazine in January, "My goal is to be a good dad to my daughters, to stay healthy and to go out there and be a performer," adding, "this show is going to be like Fame because my house is crazy."
Though it's been years since Hoffman has had a hit show, he still remains wildly popular. Earlier this year, the 58-year-old actor was the victim of a Comedy Central roast. Few subjects were off limits, including Hoff's infamous cheeseburger video, which features him shirtless, in a drunken stupor, struggling to eat a Wendy's cheeseburger off his hotel room floor.
The Joke's on David Hasselfhoff
"How do you make jokes about a joke? How do you embarrass a man who so thoroughly embarrasses himself?" comedian Seth MacFarlane, the roast host, said in his opening salvo. "How do you put someone down when they are already lying shirtless on the floor?"
Hoff's "Baywatch" co-star Pamela Anderson, a vegan and animal rights' activist, piped up to pile on the insults.
"David, I have to say, when I saw the video of you lying on the floor -- drunk, broken down, cheeseburger meat falling from your mouth -- I felt so sad," said Anderson. "For that cow."
Until now, Hasselhoff has said little about the 2007 video shot by his daughter Taylor Ann and later posted on the Internet, or his reported alcohol relapses.
After the video went viral with more than one billion views, he announced in a statement: "I am a recovering alcoholic."
His drinking problem was reportedly the reason NBC's "America's Got Talent" failed to renew his contract in January after he served four years as a judge. He was replaced with comedian Howie Mandel. Hasselhoff's rep maintains that the actor left "America's Got Talent" to pursue his own reality show.
Last year after Hasselhoff was treated at a local hospital, his attorney Mel Goldsman told ABCNews.com, "He's a recovering alcoholic, but he's really been doing great."
"I've been waiting for a forum to talk about where I'm at," Hasselhoff told a reporter from Popeater.com backstage after the roast. "I didn't do it in the beginning because I was in a very personal matter and it involved the custody of my children."
Hasselhoff split from second wife, Pamela Bach, in 2006 amidst accusations of domestic violence.
"I wanted to address [the cheeseburger video] the way I wanted to address it," he said. "And tonight was the way I wanted to address it."
Hassling The Hoff and Pamela Anderson
Hasselhoff had on his game face, insisting later that the event was "therapeutic." Sitting in a red oversized lifeguard's chair reminiscent of his "Baywatch" days, he laughed as his friends and peers made light of his darker moments.
"How did I prepare for this?" he said during a mid-roast interview. "I just turned on YouTube and said, nothing can be worse than the crap I've been through already."
"I must admit, I did love you in that cheeseburger commercial you once made," standup comic and "Dancing with the Stars" contestant Jeffrey Ross quipped, adding that the motto from the burger chain must have been "Have it Floor Way!"
"I'm so relieved you're wearing a shirt tonight because it will be so much easier than picking the vomit out of your chest hair later," Ross said.
Anderson was also the target of some of the jokes.
Talk show host Jeffrey Springer told Hasselhoff, "In your whole life you've never been in anything good -- except Pam Anderson."
MacFarlane joked, "What we remember most about you are Pam Anderson's t**s."
Ross noted the similarities between Hasselhoff and Anderson: "They both made embarrassing videos with meat stuffed in their mouths."
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli attacked Hasselhoff's career -- or current lack of one. For one week in June, Hasselhoff reprised his role as Dr. William "Snapper" Foster, Jr. on "The Young and the Restless." He's also said to have an A&E show in the works. At least he remains a massive star in Germany.
"David Hasselhoff's career has become such a huge disaster," Lampanelli joked, "that I just saw an oily pelican fly out of his a*s."
Then, she gave him a hard time about being bounced from his judge's seat on "America's Got Talent."
"What's wrong with you man?" she said. "That's the worst move since Mel Gibson bought his girlfriend a tape recorder."
"Yeah, it goes too far," Hasselhoff said when asked afterward about some of the digs. "That's what they want to do. They want to get to everybody."
"No one got me," added Hoff. "I'm still laughing. My face hurts. I'm sorry it's over."