Minnelli and Gest's PR-Fueled Feud
Oct. 23 -- Sorry I've been gone for so long, but I was spending time in a separate box from David Blaine, only no one knew and they forgot to let me out.
If you don't believe that, maybe you'll believe I've been in treatment after the J.Lo and Ben wedding was called off. I was supposed to make the rice bags to throw at the bride and groom.
So, I've decided to dig my claws right in with a cynical, dark, sarcastic column blasting those who have made very poor behavioral choices during my brief absence.
My first inclination was to dedicate the whole column to berating Britney Spears for turning into a full-on 2004 version of Madonna from the late '80s/early '90s.
To put it simply, Madonna did the whole "Hi, I'm a hussy" thing first, so it's old. What's more, when Madonna performs in public, she actually sings, and that's always been the case. This cannot be said for Spears, who has decided that acting like a tramp for tabloid fodder is far more lucrative than being a singer.
Maybe folks have finally gotten tired of focusing on Britney's bod and the belly button and they'd like a little quality music from the gal. Then again, Britney may no longer have what it takes to keep the masses interested in her vocal cords and her last attempt is to go the way of the vamp if she wants to stay a floating garnish in the big cocktail of musical celebs.
Alternately, it could be that Justin Timberlake actually hurt this girl so badly she doesn't know what to do to get back at him, so she's lost her mind like a heartbroken adolescent.
You make the call.
My second inclination was to go full throttle on Meg Ryan for turning her lips into two super-absorbent paper towel rolls. She now looks reminiscent of Fat Albert, or perhaps his pal Weird Harold. It's a shame, because she was aging nicely. Not too many women are considered out-and-out "cute" in their 40s. She's still talented, though. More than I can say for the aforementioned Britney.
But I'll leave those ladies alone for now, so I can add two other kitties to my litter box of rants — David Gest and Liza Minnelli.
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