Crowe Gives Surgery Blow-by-blow
October 17 -- Wondering how much Russell Crowe has in common with his stoic, slice-my-tattoo-off-while-I-grimace-through-the-pain Gladiator character?
Plenty, apparently.
On his just-launched Web site (www.russellcrowe.com), the hunky star spills the gory details about his recent shoulder surgery in a grin-and-bear-it fashion.
Either that or the 36-year-old actor's account of the surgery was dictated while he was still under the effects of the ether. After recounting a hair-raising procedure that starts with "four incisions, scraping away torn tissue, rasping bone, drilling holes in bone …," the action hero sums up, "Bob's your uncle. Piece of piss. No wuckin' furries (forry's)."
Crowe wrenched his shoulder while rehearsing for the now-scrapped Flora Plum. The Gladiator star underwent the painful-sounding arthroscopic reconstruction procedure back home in Australia, according to his site, and he's even got pictures to show for it.
Those photos (available as e-cards, kids!) boast captions such as "more tissue munching, plus close-up of doctor's glove." All together now: Ew!
With some stars' Web sites, you have to wonder how connected the celebs are to the digital word — but not in this case. We don't see how a mere flunky would describe details such as the "surgeon sweating … like James Woods in a minor role."
Despite a local anesthetic "supplemented by happy pill with amnesiatic [sic] effects" Crowe says he has a " vivid memory of shaving of armpit, request by four hospital staff to strip naked and put on paper pants." The request, says the burly star, was "impolitely declined — basis of argument, 'it's my f--king shoulder.'"
Thanks for sharing, Russ.
