Read Excerpt: 'Undateable' By Anne Coyle and Ellen Rakieten

The "311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't be Dating or Having Sex."

ByABC News via logo
March 5, 2010, 2:43 PM

March 17, 2010— -- What are the things that men do that are an immediate turnoff to women? Anne Coyle and Ellen Rakieten tackle that question in their new book, "Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't be Dating or Having Sex."

Read an excerpt of the book below, and then head to the "GMA" Library to find more good reads.

WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

WAS IT SOMETHING I WORE?

YES, YES, AND YES

We've all heard the story a million times. A nice single girl has been hearing about this guy for weeks. "He's a great guy! He's fun! He's smart and really well read. He's not George Clooney, but he's cute. My brother LOVES him!"

The guy calls the girl, and they arrange to meet for dinner. He has a nice voice and she's feeling really good about this one. As she waits for him at the bar, she allows herself to fantasize that this might be the day that she will remember as "the moment," the moment he walked in and she knew he was the one…

And then he walks in. Sporting hair plugs. Hey, that's okay, she thinks. I'm a person of depth. I mean, I'm not really a fan, but maybe once we start talking I can move beyond it...

Or not. Somewhere between the unending sports metaphors ("Let's say we move the ball forward and get a table!") and the reveal of a large black cell phone strapped to his pleated Dockers, things are not looking good.

After he orders his second Long Island Iced Tea, she realizes the only thing that could pull her out of this death spiral is his confessing that he is in fact a French Count impersonating a complete loser as an assignment for an acting class.

But no, that doesn't happen. This happens…the Mother of All Undateables. He pushes back his chair, stands up, and without a moment of hesitation, out it comes: "I'll be back. I gotta take a dump."

Date...OVER.

Relationship?…NOT.

Guy?…UNDATEABLE.

Let's face it. Women are complicated creatures, and at times hard to understand. But the reality is, there's an unspoken list of things men say, wear, or do that will pretty much guarantee that the girl you just took out to dinner won't ever want to see you again. Or if she does, it will be to tell you that she "just wants to be friends."