Bethenny Frankel's Journey to a 'Place of Yes'


A few more things a place of yes is not: A place of yes is not the power of positive thinking or the law of attraction. It's not a "secret." I understand the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction, and I believe in what those things are about. I agree that being positive and focusing your energy does attract good things to you, but not because of a mystical process involving some conscious universe that doles out the good and the bad according to who has the best attitude.

Thinking more positively changes how you relate to the world, but a place of yes is not some kind of mystical magical spiritual process where you just think something and it comes true. If you're not the type to meditate or chant or visualize yourself richer and thinner for three hours every day, don't sweat it. That's just more pressure. It's just one more thing you don't have time to do. Coming from a place of yes is about getting right down to business. It's active, not passive. Yes gives you something to do: a mission, a purpose, a goal.

If you don't have an athletic bone in your body, coming from a place of yes is not going to make you an Olympian, just because you will it to be so. You are not going to turn into an Elle Macpherson look-alike just because you wish to be a supermodel. You aren't going to become an astronaut if you aren't willing to go through the training, if you have vertigo or bad vision. Coming from a place of yes is not going to give you naturally supple 34C breasts or your husband a twelve-inch penis. It's definitely not going to bring Prince Charming on a white horse holding a sack of cash to your front door, just because you imagine it happening.

'A Place of Yes'

If you are a size 12, it's not going to transform you into a size 0 by tomorrow (or ever, necessarily). But it can help you love your size 12 self, or inspire you to get down to a size that is more healthy for you. It's not going to raise your IQ, fire your obnoxious boss, solve global warming, or "fix" your parents, but it can help ease your anxiety and obsession and self-destructive behavior that may stem from your feelings about any of those things. Coming from a place of yes will not make your crazy best friend suddenly see the light and stop choosing the wrong men — but it can help you stop choosing the wrong men. A place of yes has nothing to do with anybody else. It's only about you.

When you choose yes, your whole attitude will change, no matter who you are. You can be a born optimist, pessimist, realist, anarchist, whatever, and still come from a place of yes. You can be a meditator, a yogi, a kick boxer, a triathlete, a couch potato, and still come from a place of yes. You can be sixteen or sixty-six years old and come from a place of yes. No matter what you've done or haven't done or hate to admit you've done, you can come from a place of yes.

A place of yes is a way to get through things when you feel it is impossible to do so.

Your mind creates the landscape of your life. Your perceptions about everything that you've ever done and everything that has ever happened to you all come from your mind. Change your mind, and things change. However, coming from a place of yes goes a step further. You change your mind, and then you act on it. You don't wait for someone or something else to do it for you. No excuses. No luck. No passing the buck.

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