Then, just a week before Carolyn and her husband were to move permanently back to her home state, Carolyn told Kevin, in a fit of honesty, that she'd always been interested in him. Kevin's response: "I'm going to kiss you now." And he did. Thus began an affair that lasted, off and on, for the next six years. Carolyn and her husband went through with their move to her home state. After that, Kevin saw Carolyn once a year or less, when she came to California alone. Each time she left Kevin to return to her husband, Kevin recalls, "I was miserable. I'd always had a drinking problem, and it got worse."
Finally, in his mid-thirties, after a DUI arrest, Kevin quit alcohol and decided to bring the Carolyn issue to a conclusion. On Carolyn's next visit, Kevin was determined not merely to fall in bed with her. Rather, handing her a half-dozen red roses -- "one for each year I'd been in love with her" -- Kevin made the following statement: "I won't accept the crumbs anymore. I love you and I want to be with you. It's one way or the other."
Carolyn never returned to her husband. Eighteen years later, Kevin and Carolyn are happily married, he reports, raising a teenaged son, and running an advertising business together. Now aged fifty-three, Kevin still remembers that first glimpse of Carolyn in vivid detail. "There was something in her face that told me I could trust her with who I am," he says. "I could bare my soul. I just knew that whatever I brought to her -- all my fears, all my vulnerabilities -- they would be safe....The best part is that what I thought intuitively has since unfolded."
Interestingly, my survey shows that a man who knows within a month of meeting a woman that he wants to marry her is likely to be happier in the marriage than a man who takes longer to decide. Three-quarters of those who knew within a month described themselves as "very happy" in their marriages compared to 56 percent of those who took a year or longer to make a decision. Not surprisingly, the only area where men who decide quickly had more problems was in their relationships with their wife's parents. Apparently, some women's parents are skeptical of short courtships.
Kevin O'Leary met his future wife at a casual gathering of friends. Rob Reilly happened upon his at the Laundromat. Porter Williams needed a U-turn to get his first close-up look at his wife-to-be. When we think of the "singles scene" in today's America, many of us may imagine raucous bars or alcohol-drenched nightclubs. But, according to the VoiceMale Survey, it's a rare marriage that begins that way.
24 percent of husbands met their wives in school, some as early as elementary school. Those married more than thirty-five years were most likely to have met their wives in school (36 percent).
18 percent met their wives at a social event, such as a dance, party, or wedding.
18 percent were introduced to their wives by friends or family members.
14 percent met their wives at work. This figure has changed dramatically since the middle of the last century. Among those married more than thirty-five years, only 2 percent met their wives at work. This compares to 23 percent of those married in the past three years. This change is no doubt due to the influx of women into the workplace.
6 percent met their wives at a bar.
4 percent met their wives at church, at synagogue, or in another religious setting.
1 percent met their wives online.