Read an Excerpt of 'Outside In' Here

Actress Courtney Thorne-Smith discusses her struggle with an eating disorder.

ByABC News via logo
September 19, 2007, 4:14 PM

Sept. 20, 2007 — -- Television actress Courtney Thorne-Smith has starred in hit shows like "Ally McBeal" and "Melrose Place" and is currently starring in ABC's "According to Jim."

Now she has written what she says is a fictional account of a beloved American television actress. While Kate Keyes-Morgan seemingly has it all together externally, internally she struggles, especially after her husband leaves her for another actress.

Kate suddenly has to take charge of her own life. Find out more about Kate in the excerpt below.

The excerpt below contains expletives.

Kate stood frozen in her bathroom doorway, bracing herself for the inevitable, the unavoidable, the potentially painful moment dreaded by women everywhere: the morning weigh-in. Was it just her imagination or did the scale actually seem mean this morning, like the mechanical version of a popular yet cruel sixth-grade girl? Maybe it was the ungodly hour of the morning (four-thirty) or the fact that she hadn't had her coffee yet (the resultant weight-reducing "release"), but she could swear that the scale had seemed friendlier yesterday.

"For the love of god," she whispered to herself, "calm down. It is only a scale, only a silly number." Unfortunately, she had "only a lingerie scene" to shoot today and whatever the scale said would soon be reflected on camera and then on television screens across America for all of rerun eternity. Taking a deep breath and holding it in (in the faint hope of creating an "airier" self), Kate stepped onto the scale and watched as the small digital screen computed her weight, body fat, hydration level, and probably her credit score.

Oh shit.

Oh shit, shit.

Feeling dizzy, Kate braced herself on the edge of the sink. Her precoffee brain was having difficulty processing the information: how could she have gained five pounds? Stepping off the scale, she said a quick prayer to the god of arbitrary-numbers-upon-which-to-base-one's-self-esteem, removed her Cosabella thong panties (all of that lace must weigh a ton), and got back on the scale.

Oh shit.

"How's it looking?" Kate jumped as her husband, Hamilton, entered the bathroom-both because she was surprised to see anyone else in her bathroom at four-thirty a.m., and also because she wanted to create as much distance as possible between her body and the number shining up from the digital scale. He wasn't fooled.

"Oh, Kate," Hamilton groaned, somehow summoning the energy to accomplish the disappointment trifecta of head shake, eyebrow crease, and judgmental lip purse, all before his first cup of organic green tea. "How could you let this happen? You know how important this is, Katie. You know we need to show everyone how much better you are doing."

"Better," meaning thinner. Thinner than she had been three years ago, when her career had stalled after a promising start on a short-lived nighttime soap, when nights spent eating out with the proceeds from her first high-paying gig had added up to the Hollywood version of the freshman fifteen, complete with paparazzi shots and cruel nicknames in the tabloids. By the time Hamilton had approached her with the promise to reenergize her young career and rid her of "Katie the Cow" forever, she had been so grateful for the positive attention that she had quickly signed over the management of her career. Two months later, when the weight started to come off and the work offers began to come in, she'd happily signed over the management of the rest of her life when Hamilton surprised her with a proposal during her comeback appearance on Regis and Kelly. Three months later, in the wedding photos published in People magazine-not the cover, but a full two-page spread, nonetheless-Kate looked stunning in her (size 4!) Vera Wang gown, her curly brown hair streaked with copper highlights and painstakingly straightened as per Hamilton's detailed instructions. He wanted to model Kate's wedding-day look after Jennifer Aniston's ethereal beauty on the day she married Brad Pitt, even going so far as to hire Jennifer's hair and makeup team. The team had done their best, working their magic for four exhausting hours, but no amount of hair product or bronzer could change the freckled, fresh-faced, undeniably Irish Kate into a Greek goddess. Hamilton almost succeeded in covering his disappointment when she walked down the aisle, but Kate saw the flash of disillusionment in his eyes and silently vowed to do whatever it took to guarantee that Hamilton never again regretted his investment in what he lovingly referred to as his "chubby little has-been."