Co-Worker Driving You Crazy? Here's What to Do

ByABC News via logo
April 3, 2006, 6:21 AM

March 21, 2006 — -- With more than 134 million Americans in the work force, at least one of them will inevitably drive you crazy at your place of employment.

Coping with these co-workers can be a job in itself, whether the objectionable person is self-centered, manipulative, ill-tempered or just plain stupid.

For that reason, nearly every employed person may want to peruse "Working With You Is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself From Emotional Traps at Work," a how-to guide for dealing with those lovable folks commonly called co-workers.

"Most books are talking to the leaders, 'How to be Great Leader,' 'You're a Leader,' but no one is really talking to that middle guy," says co-author Kathi Elster.

Elster, 54, and her business partner, psychotherapist Katherine Crowley, 48, wrote the book over the past seven years. They drew from their nearly 20 years of experience as human resource consultants at hundreds of companies, where they interviewed thousands of employees.

From their research, they developed a series of steps for dealing with irritating colleagues, all centered on the idea that people become "hooked" in emotional traps at work.

Their first suggestion: unhook physically. Is working with co-worker Dan getting you tense? Does Eric make you clench your teeth? If so, the authors say there may be some things you can do independently to lessen your frustration.

The first step requires you to release pent-up frustrations by doing something physical -- a trip to the gym or a simple breathing exercise can do the job. The important thing is to stop focusing on what frustrates you.

"I wish people would stop keeping the story alive, the frustration, and take time to relax," says Elster. "I think that would change a lot."

Next, the authors suggest you unhook mentally. Ask yourself, what's happening here? What are the facts? What is the annoying co-worker's role in the situation, and what is mine? What are my options?