Ariana Grande experienced doubt and anxiety after the Manchester Arena bombing

The pop star opens up about the concert bombing and how her life has changed.

July 11, 2018, 2:18 PM

Ariana Grande wasn't sure she would ever perform again after the Manchester Arena bombing.

The 25-year-old pop star opened up about the terrorist bombing that killed 22 and injured more than 100 in a new interview with Elle magazine.

"When I got home from tour, I had really wild dizzy spells, this feeling like I couldn’t breathe," Grande told the magazine. "I would be in a good mood, fine and happy, and they would hit me out of nowhere. I’ve always had anxiety, but it had never been physical before. There were a couple of months straight where I felt so upside down."

PHOTO: Ariana Grande appears on the August cover of Elle.
Ariana Grande appears on the August cover of Elle.
Alexi Lubomirski

Grande and her mother, Joan Grande, had flown back to their home in Boca Raton, Florida, immediately after the bombing, and for nearly two days did not speak to each other.

Finally, Joan told Elle, "It was 2 or 3 in the morning; she crawled into bed and said, ‘Mom, let’s be honest, I’m never not going to sing again. But I’m not going to sing again until I sing in Manchester first.’"

That led to the "One Love Manchester" benefit concert, in which Grande and other performers raised millions to help victims of the deadly terrorist attack and their families.

For Grande it was life-changing seeing all the fans there.

"Why would I second-guess getting on...stage and being there for them? That city, and their response? That changed my life," she said.

PHOTO: Ariana Grande performs onstage during the 2018 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 20, 2018 in Las Vegas.
Ariana Grande performs onstage during the 2018 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 20, 2018 in Las Vegas.
Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images

The experience has also made Grande more fearless, and that includes taking a stand on issues she cares about.

"There’s a lot of noise when you say anything about anything. But if I’m not going to say it, what’s the f***ing point of being here?" she told Elle. "Not everyone is going to agree with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to shut up and sing my songs."

She added, "I’m also going to be a human being who cares about other human beings; to be an ally and use my privilege to help educate people."

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