Terry Real Answers Your Questions About Cheating and Marriage


Two years ago my introverted husband of 22 years decided to get a Facebook account without my knowledge because he felt it would hurt me. Six months later one of my friends commented she saw him on FB and sent him a friend request. Looking dumbfounded, he told me, 'Oh I just got it. I'll send you a friend request.' I came to find out he had lied about the time frame and who asked who to befriend the other on FB. There were 128 friends on his list, 88 were women. One of them was a well-known w***e here in town when she lived here. He would send virtual flowers and hugs to these women on his list but not send real ones to his wife. He has never believed he did anything wrong because he supposedly never had sex with these women. I don't know that because he conveniently can never remember things. He also can't seem to find a place to take a lie detector test. My question is, why don't men think an emotional affair is an affair?

Real answers:


I'm not sure I get what you're saying here - that your husband is having an emotional affair with 88 women? That doesn't sound right. But then again neither do his actions as you describe them. I'm not sure what exactly your husband is doing, but it sounds unsavory as you portray it.

Louise writes:

Last year I found out that my husband of 40 years had been having what he says is a 2 1/2 year friendship with a single younger women. I knew nothing about her until I saw them coming out of a restaurant and then driving down the road in his car two separate times.

He was giving her money for massages, facials, gas for her car, then came a loan for a down payment on a house. I checked the telephone bills and found hundreds of calls between them over the 2 1/2 years. My world came to a stop in Nov. 2009. Yes, I kicked him out six times, but we are back together and still trying to make a go of it.

He is still trying to say that it was only a friendship, but I will never believe it. He crossed the line and so did she, because she knew he was married. I found out this is her way of making a living by using men to help support her lifestyle. But in reality I think she is just a downright W***E.

I will not let someone like that walk into my life and try to take it away. I love my husband and have for the last 41 years, and I will fight for him and our marriage with all that I have. By the way, we had to take her to court to get our money back that my husband loaned her. We won the judgment and now we are in the process of collecting it back.

Real answers:

Looks like a skunk, smells like... Hundreds of phone calls? Money for facials, massages, a down payment? Sure seems like more than a friendship. Glad you're standing up to it.

Ashley writes:

My name is Ashley and I am 21 years old. I got married almost three years ago and six months ago I had an affair . During this time I found out my husband was so hurt about what I did he also cheated.

We just recently reunited after being split up and it's been very hard trying to even respect each other. There has been so much damage between us that I am not sure how to fix what's happened or if my husband and I can work through all the hurt. We definitely need help and therapy of some sort. I hope you may be able to help. Thank you.

Real answers:

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