Excerpt, Part 2: 'Around the World in 80 Dates'

ByABC News via logo
March 31, 2005, 6:51 PM

April 5, 2005 — -- Author and travel and travel journalist Jennifer Cox appeared on "Good Morning America" to discuss her new book, "Around the World in 80 Dates." In it, Cox recounts her effort to find Mr. Right by globetrotting from country to country and date to date.

Here's part two of the Chapter 1 excerpt:

Hmmm. Writing the Relationship Résumé had been an illuminating but not terribly uplifting experience: It looked like I hadn't been in a good relationship for ages. For a moment I wondered if I was better off forgetting about romantic relationships and sticking to having fun with my millions of other single female friends. But that was silly. My single friends wanted to be in a relationship as much as I did; even if I wimped out and stayed single, there was no guarantee they'd stay that way (and I hoped for all their sakes they wouldn't --I wanted them to meet their Mr. Rights, too).

No, I wanted to be in a good relationship. I missed having that close connection with one person, feeling that I was at the center of something rather than bobbing around the edges. But I wanted one of the early happy-style relationships, not one of the hard, rubbish ones I seemed to have specialized in in recent years. Clearly the Soul Mate Job Description needed serious consideration if I was to avoid disappointment and disaster.

First I needed to decide on the kind of person I wanted to meet. Well, since I was five feet eleven, height was very important: I needed the chemistry when someone's tall enough to put his arm around my shoulders -- I absolutely could not date someone shorter than me. I wanted someone who was affectionate without being overbearing -- such a hard one to get right. Someone who was smart, funny, and adventurous and had his own friends. Since divorced men have a marriage-shaped hole in their lives that they are looking to quickly fill, and single women have a disaster-shaped hole in their lives they want to keep empty for as long as possible, I didn't want someone who was going to take me over completely.

What else? An interest in music was good, too much interest in TV was bad. I am a vegetarian, and although I don't mind meat-eaters, anyone with a love of offal should probably not apply. I don't like smokers (good-bye, Jean Pierre) but distrust anyone who doesn't drink. They don't have to have their own library card, but a few books on the shelf would be good (science fiction and self-help don't count). I don't mind guys who are slightly overweight, but "man breasts" are a complete no-no. Skinny guys are out: If their waists are smaller than my thighs, it's not going to work. I quite like laid-back guys, but absolutely no slackers, potheads, or wannabe poets (if I want to see the beauty in anything, I'll go to the Mac cosmetics counter, thank you very much). Sporty is good, but don't expect me to come watch if it's raining.

Having said all of that, I was open-minded and probably needed to challenge what I thought my type of man really was -- with the exception of man breasts and offal; they were non-negotiable.

The next step was to assemble my network of Date Wranglers (DWs), including Belinda, Charlotte, Simon, Cath, Ian, Eleanor, Sara-Jane, Hector, Jeannette, Jo, Posh PR Emma, Paula, Sophie, Madhav, Jill, Matt, Lizzy, Grainne All old friends, either in the travel industry or journalists who have worked overseas for years. These First-Generation Date Wranglers all had an extensive network of contacts and friends around the world, who would be either Dates or second- or third-generation Date Wranglers in their own right. I'd already talked to everyone about my plans, but it was now time to send out a briefing email and get the team to work.

Dear Date Wranglers

A few of you have asked what kind of person I'm looking to meet and what I want to do on the date (thank you, Sophie -- José the Chilean sheep farmer sounds lovely. And Jo, yes, Jason the Buddhist lawyer in Nova Scotia might be perfect). I've pasted a Soul Mate Job Description below. Please read it carefully. If it sounds like a single someone you know anywhere in the world, and they'd be willing to date me, please let me know. I'll then sit down with a list of potential Dates and pick the ones that look most promising and fall relatively easily into a route around the world. Dinner at my house on the 12th for questions/brainstorming/reality check.

Lots of love, J xx

Soul Mate Job Description
I am a 38-year-old writer living in London. I've done a bit of traveling over the years and am planning another big trip soon. When not schlepping my backpack on and off Indian trains, maxing my card at Macy's, or eating gelati in Italy, I love London Life. Sunday papers and coffee with my friends, plus shows, gigs, and movies. I'm a bit sporty, especially running (though not very far or fast) and cycling (see "running"). I'm bad at spelling but good at cooking. I sing along to music and always seem to forget Xmas cards till the last minute. I'm fairly laid-back about most things, though get pathetically competitive playing poker.
And what am I looking for in a man?
I'm pretty tall at five foot eleven but old-fashioned enough to want to feel "ladylike," so looking for someone over six foot. What else?
Well, I'd like to meet someone who makes me smile, lets me read them bits out of the newspaper, has beliefs they're willing to arm-wrestle for, and tells me interesting things I didn't know. Like me, you'll believe that life is short and you should make the most of it; unlike me, you'll probably realize that TV isn't real and remain calm when Lassie doesn't come home. An interest in music and books is good, a sense of fun and adventure essential.