Joel Siegel's the Morning After

May 21, 2007 — -- I still didn't like it. Neither did more than half the critics polled on rottentomatoes.com. But "Shrek the Third" opened to the third biggest weekend of all time; last summer's "Pirates 2" and last fortnight's "Spidey 3" are the only two films with bigger opening weekends.

A couple of things: It's a family film, it plays off the franchise, it was very well marketed and, perhaps most important to past and future grosses, it's short. 91 minutes.

In fact, one blogger reported one of the marketing executives suggested an ad campaign based on the line: "Hey, Parents, It's Only 91 Minutes Long!"

He or she was kidding, but everyone in the room knew the film was a stinker.

Other bloggers are curling their thongs wondering why Jeffrey Katzenberg, over in Cannes, was predicting a $90 million weekend when all the tracking showed well over a hundred.

Why? 'Cause Katzenberg is a very smart man. It's what's called a "win-win" in the trade.

If he predicts 90 million and it does a hundred million, he's a winner. If the world discovers the film isn't in the same league as its two predecessors and it only does 80 or 90, he's a winner.

The total: $122 million.

He's a real winner.

I saw it for a second time over the weekend, in a very crowded theater. I took Dylan, 9, who loved it. I didn't like what I didn't like the first time around -- too many villains, too many good guys, the finale turns ungainly. But I liked what I liked the first time around even more the second time. It's terrific. It will hit $300 million domestic by the end of next weekend, when "Pirates 3" will open to even more records.

The Peter O'Toole starrer is not a very good film, which is why he's yet to actually win an Oscar, and the subject matter has become offensive. A romantic comedy about an elderly man and a woman young enough to be his great-granddaughter just isn't funny anymore.(For the record, Cary Grant refused any romantic scenes with Audrey Hepburn in "Charade" because he felt their age difference was too great and would trouble the audience. When the film was shot, he was 58, she was 33.)