'Deal Breakers': How to Heal a Relationship

In her new book, "Deal Breakers," psychoanalyst Bethany Marshall outlines how men and women should decide when to continue working on a relationship and when to call it quits.

Marshall suggests setting boundaries -- or deal breakers -- to achieve the happiness that every person deserves. She appeared on "Good Morning America" with tips on how to save a marriage.

How to Define a Dead End

Every relationship has an "original agreement," whether emotional, sexual or financial. Some are a combination of all three. You know you've come to a dead end in your relationship when your original agreement isn't being fulfilled. If the original agreement isn't being met, you have a deal breaker.

When you define your breaking point, it's a guide to getting things back on track and you have to get back to that original agreement.

Absolute Breaking Point vs. Temporary Problem

It's all about getting off the merry-go-round and getting on track to a fulfilling relationship. The following are all deal breakers.

You work harder than he's working.

He creates an alternate reality where family doesn't come first.

On important occasions like anniversaries, you find yourself enraged.

When he promises to change, he doesn't change to the level you need.

You keep asking yourself if it's him or if it's you.

Repairing the Relationship

If you're unhappy with the other person, you have to define the problem, set a time limit and allow the other person to reach for solutions. She has to step back to see if he does reach for it, instead of nagging.

The assignment for both of you becomes: Find out what it is that makes you happy and decide how you can bring that home. For every problem there is a solution. You can't just live for the promise of a future where things magically get better.

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