Limit your expectations: Know that you will probably give a lot of time, energy, love and affection that will not be returned immediately. Think of it as making small investments that may one day yield a lot of interest. But don't expect a return for now.
Set limits and boundaries: As a new stepparent, you shouldn't step in as the enforcer at first, but work with your spouse to set limits.
Equality: No matter how hard it is, make sure you treat every child the same.
No games: The rules should be the same with both sets of parents. If bedtime is 8 p.m. at one house, it should be that way at the other house.
Let the children decide what to call you: They may not feel comfortable calling you "mom" or "dad" so let them decide what they want to call you.