In Tough Times, Is 'For Richer or Poorer' Forever?

Feb 15, 2009 — -- If there's ever a time when the wedding vow "for richer or poorer" might be put to a serious stress test, that time is now. Many relationships that once thrived on the bliss of the economic boom are now teetering on the brink of collapse, as the country slips further into recession.

Amy Kean and John Schwartz are a husband-and-wife team who offer relationship advice on their popular Amy vs. John" blog on We-TV Web site. In recent months, they have seen a spike in the number of couples seeking advice for frequent fights over money problems.

"The recession is just wreaking havoc on relationships," Kean said.

Many women wrote in to complain that their husbands or boyfriends don't take them out anymore. Kean and Schwartz said it is a classic complaint during tough economic times. Women tend to equate expensive dates with love, respect and affection, they said.

One woman told the pair that she was furious to discover that her fiance has been secretly selling his sperm to make extra cash after getting laid off. She thought it wrong and immoral that he hadn't consulted with her first, because she thought she'd be the only mother of his children.

David Hellyar, 27, and Khady Hellyar, 28, are one of hundreds of couples whose marriage has been hit hard by financial stress. The couple enjoyed a happy relationship for five years, until David Hellyar 's high-end residential home construction business went sour last year.

Since then, he's been overwhelmed with tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and car loans.

"It's definitely — stressing, you know, on our relationship. On who I am as a provider, " David Hellyar said.

While David Hellyar continues to look for work every day, Khady Hellyar has become the sole breadwinner as a full-time nanny.

It's a common recession relationship issue: when traditional-minded men who feel they need to be the provider lose their jobs.

"They feel that's their identity. It's emasculating to suddenly not have money — not [to] have power — not being able to call the shots," Kean said.