'Dear GMA' Entry: Are You Our Next Advice Guru?
Check out one of your entries considered for the job of "GMA" advice guru.
Sept. 28, 2010 — -- "Good Morning America" is launching a nationwide search for a 21st century Advice Guru.
This is a full time, on-air position at "GMA." You could sit next to George and Robin and be a part of the "GMA" Team!
Over the next few weeks, we'll be featuring some of your entries on the website.
Check out this one from Khara McKinney of Inglewood, Calif.
What's the best advice you have ever given? What was the result?
The best advice that I have given to any person and to most persons that I treat is one word: communicate. One example of this was a client that I treated who was having issues with her brother and felt that he was intentionally trying to hurt and undermine her by not following through with things that he promised. When I asked her to speak to him directly about this issue, his response was "I didn't know you felt that way." As a result of her talking this through with him, she was able to understand the true root of the issue as well as to allow her brother to work to repair the damage that he had unknowingly made. Most of the problems that I treat in my office are rooted in miscommunication or the lack of communication. And typically talking about it does not exacerbate but alleviates the problem.
What would you tell his person: "Whenever there is an issue between my mother-in-law and me, my husband refuses to stand up for me. How do I get him to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?
My all time favorite phrase is that you teach others how to treat you. This means that directly and indirectly (by not expressing your feelings) you have allowed your husband to believe that it is ok to do this. It is a husband's job to protect you and he fails to do so every time he does not defend you. It's important that he knows how you feel in order to work to improve the situation, but also it is necessary to pick your battles with your mother-in-law. If these are battles that are indeed worth fighting for, you will have to rally your husband to join with you by expressing how important this is for the good of the family as well as the good of your relationship with your husband.
What would you tell this person: "While cleaning my son's room, I accidentally saw on his Facebook page threatening remarks from his friends. I fear he's being bullied. What should I do?"
As we have seen in the news all too often, bullying can lead to a decline in academic performance, depression and even suicide. You should have a conversation with your son regarding your hunches of his being bullied and give him tools and resources by talking to him about how to address possible bullying by alerting school officials, yourself, or other adults and maybe even talking to school officials or parents on your own (as a last resort, kids like to feel self-sufficient by seemingly fixing things on their own, especially as they age). It has been my experience that kids often hear you even if it appears that they are not listening. And if bullying is occurring, chances are that he will gladly welcome an opportunity to talk about this with you and get some help or advice to help him deal with this effectively.
What would you tell this person: "My boss keeps taking credit for my ideas. What should I do?"
The difficulty in this problem is possibly your concerns that by letting your boss know that you recognize this that you may jeopardize your job. The thing is, if you do confront your boss about this then s/he will be forced to take responsibility for his/her actions, whichclearly is difficult for your boss since s/he is stealing your ideas. My suggestion is to be on the hunt for another job that will allow you to benefit from your wonderful ideas that way if by telling your boss your concerns it does create a hostile environment at least you can happily pack your bags without remorse for speaking up. Also, report your concerns in writing so that if possible you can consult "higher ups" about this should the work environment not change or become too hostile.
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