Jaycee Dugard and Mother Terry Probyn's Impact Statements

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And then, on June, 10th, 1991, my world went dark. My sunshine was taken away. I asked God, "What did I do wrong? Why am I being punished? How could anyone with a heart or a conscience or a soul for that matter, take an innocent child away from its mother? How could someone take away the one person in this world that I loved so deeply? Where is she? Is she cold, is she hungry, is she hurt? I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I ranted and raved, I went crazy and thought I was going to go insane...I needed so desperately, to hold her and comfort her and tell her that i loved her. My baby was gone and all of my dreams turned to nightmares. Dreadful nightmarish thoughts of her bondage and of her suffering. She was a vulnerable child and I was unable to help her. A helplessness that turned into despair and misery and depression. I was lost without her but determined not to ever give up hope. I promised, Please God, wrap your arms around her and keep her alive, keep her spirit safe, and I will never give up looking for her. Please God, place a burden so heavy on whoever would do such an evil thing, that they would let her go and she could come back home to me.

I could hear her crying, not with my ears but with my heart. I could feel her pain, not with my body but again with my heart. Completely unbearable and debilitating. For eighteen excruciating years, I endured a huge gaping hole in my heart that some evil being had put their hand into and had ripped out. For eighteen agonizing years, I guarded what little I had left and lived in hell on this earth.

It was you Nancy Garrido and you Phillip Garrido that broke my heart. You took something that didn't belong to you. You hurt my baby.

I hate you both for the torment and anguish you put my daughter, myself, and my family through. I am nauseas at the thought of the sexual exploitation and the brutal abuse she endured at your uncaring hand. I am sickened by the reality that she had to suffer your cruel and heartless imprisonment for so long. You are the epitome of disgust and no amount of jail time or even death will cleanse your corrupt souls. You do not deserve to live or die or even exist. Your mother did not give you life to destroy others lives and I can guarantee that she would be ashamed to know she bore evil.

You are nothing…other than selfish, self serving, self gratifying monsters. What you have done to my daughters, my granddaughters, my family and myself is unforgiveable and the only satisfaction for me is that I know you will never lay eyes on my daughter again. And more importantly, you will never lay eyes on her two daughters again either. Her daughters know what you did to their mother. They realize your backyard was a prison and understand your filthy, despicable secret. They are aware that they have been deceived and I am here to tell you that there is no love lost.

I am expecting that all I have to say today will fall on deaf ears but this testimony is not for you. It is for me. It is for every mother and father out there that have experienced my pain. It is for every child and their siblings that have suffered at the hands of a predator. It is for those here today. My nightmare has finally ended, Thank God . But my battle against abduction has just begun and I plan to win just as I've done here today…

Terry Probyn

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