Don't Lose Your Sexual Self to Motherhood, Says 'Naked Mom' Brooke Burke


Naked Mom

Our lives are continually rearranged and take new shape. My own life is radically different today from what it was a year ago, when I sat in my office with a legal pad and a latte and first began thinking about what I wanted to tell you. My career is in a different place, my relationship has dipped and soared, and my four kids keep growing and learning and constantly changing. They educate and reeducate me every single day, and just when I think I've got them figured out, they change on me again! This whole process of soul searching has given me a chance to discover new things about myself, and to learn so much about myself as a woman, a mother, a lover. Having to examine my life and my choices under my own microscope was sometimes scary, but also exhilarating. I came to realize that what I wanted all along wasn't really balance after all.

It's fulfillment.

And that's something that's actually attainable, no matter who you are or what your circumstances. So, no, this isn't going to be some step-by-step how-to celebrity guide that will spell out what you need to do to be like me. To paraphrase the late, great Judy Garland, why settle for being a second-rate version of someone else rather than a first-rate version of yourself? I hope, though, by sharing my journey and my experiences, you'll start reflecting on your own woman behind the scenes, and discover—or rediscover—who she is and what makes her uniquely wonderful.

What excites me most about these frenetic times we live in are all the opportunities we now have at our fingertips to connect with one another through social media. I know from my community that women from all walks of life are eager to share their stories, to learn from each other, and sometimes just to see things from someone else's perspective. There's an undeniable sense of solidarity that enriches and entertains us, a wealth of wisdom, information, observation, and, above all, compassion that's instantly ours for the asking. Most empowering of all is the knowledge that there isn't one "right" way, that it's okay to find your own way, to define your own boundaries and discover your own philosophy.

Naked Mom

As for me, I have to admit that I've always been a risk taker, whether I was staring down an eight-foot crocodile in a reptile pit while taping Wild On or setting out to stitch together a blended family from the tatters of my failed marriage. (Truth be told, the hissing croc has nothing on an enraged ten-year-old.) I sincerely believe that there's a purpose to everything that happens in our lives, good or bad. Mayhem is unavoidable. Still, it's a little intimidating to publicly admit some of those truths that we, as mothers, keep safely hidden away in our secret selves, never revealing that private dancer. Truths like "I love my children but I don't always like them," or "I'm too uptight to be the lover my partner wants."

One of the scariest parts of being a mother is also one of the most wondrous: Not knowing what to expect next. That part rings even truer for me these days as my two older girls hurtle through those vexing and perplexing tween years. Add two toddlers and my soul mate, David Charvet, into the mix, and you have a house full of wildly different personalities, each person going through his or her own phases, at their own decibel level. Everyone has their own needs, desires, disappointments, and dreams. Their only common denominator? Me.

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