Don't Lose Your Sexual Self to Motherhood, Says 'Naked Mom' Brooke Burke

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Naked Mom

Being a mother means having to learn the different, unique language of each member of your family, and to communicate with compassion. What motivates one child may crush another. We also have to learn how to receive messages as clearly as we send them. Having a blended family and shared custody with my ex-husband makes that even more challenging, and I have to remember to step back and just breathe sometimes, or the domino effect of an ill-considered remark or action can be devastating. My oldest daughter and I have started keeping a shared journal, and the insights for both of us have been amazing.

Most women give up a lot to become mothers, and the lover always seems to be the first part of a mom's identity to go AWOL. Does the libido always have to take one for the team? My answer is a definitive "No!" Sexuality and motherhood are not mutually exclusive. Many of the same traits that make you amazing as a mom make you amazing as a lover, as well: generosity, playfulness, devotion, patience, imagination, and intuition are just a few that come to mind. I think feeling sexy and sexual is a state of mind. Letting our erotic fantasies play out gives us a needed break from the give, give, give nature of motherhood. Behind many a sweet, wholesome mom, me included, there is a feral woman. A carnal self, a sort of secret slut. She is you, unfiltered, unedited, unapologetic.

Learning how to set a mood, play out a fantasy, and reconnect with your mate are ways to reclaim yourself as a lover. I'm happy to reveal some of my secrets in steamy detail, from the most outrageous place I've ever done it to my favorites list of erotic literature, hottest movie scenes, sexiest songs, and trustiest aphrodisiacs.

Chaos is such a mainstay in my life, I'm surprised it doesn't appear on my driver's license as my permanent state of residence.

Naked Mom

We've all had these mornings: You wake up to discover that the ants have reclaimed the kitchen counter, your laptop and cell phone have carried out a suicide pact overnight, your mate has just remembered that he invited six vegans over for an important business lunch on Saturday, the baby kept you up all night but you need to be perky and on for a big meeting at the office, and your seven-year-old wants to know the facts of life right this minute. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking we can be Supermom if we just had more time or energy. How often do we lie in bed at night taking mental stock of everything we didn't get accomplished that day, and adding it onto the next day's to-do list? The pace of our lives is already fast and furious; increasing the tempo is just going to make you more exhausted, not more efficient. We know from experience that the demands of raising a family change continually and sometimes dramatically. Needs are never synchronized, and trying to be everything to everyone all the time leaves no one—including you—satisfied. That's especially true if, like me, you're one of the millions of American moms trying to rebuild a family from the ruins of divorce. The painful knowledge that I'm the one who wreaked this havoc doesn't make it easier to contain. But facing the toughest challenge of my life has taught me an elemental truth: You may not be able to choreograph chaos, but you can dance through it with something resembling grace. Finding your own rhythm means living inside each moment of your life, and learning how to tune out the noise so you can hear the music.

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