Famous Women Gather to Discuss Grief

Oct. 28, 2009— -- It was an emotional afternoon Tuesday at the Women's Conference in California as a group of prominent women gathered for a special panel on grief, including Patrick Swayze's wife Lisa Niemi, who spoke publicly for the first time since her husband's death.

The panelists told the audience what lessons they had learned on the road from heartbreak to hope.

For Niemi, the panel -- part of the nation's largest women's leadership event -- marked the beginning of her healing. Her beloved husband died five weeks ago from pancreatic cancer.

"This is all new to me," she said. "I thought during the 22 months of my husband's illness that it gave me time to get used to the idea of losing him, and I found for myself when I actually got to that point I said, no, no, no. That wasn't the same at all, the actual loss is -- it's like an animal all on its own. It is almost like when the grief takes it, your body is not your own. "

One of the most difficult parts of Swayze's final days, she said, was dealing with the tabloid magazines that were on a death watch and "killing him off every week, every month."

"It was emotional cruelty," Niemi said. "When what you have is hope, you want to hang on to that hope."

"It was very demoralizing, because when someone is out in the universe, saying that on such a big level, you want all the positive vibes you can.

Moderator Maria Shriver's grief was also raw from the recent loss of her uncle, Sen. Ted Kennedy and her best friend and mother, Eunice Shriver.

"My mother's death has brought me to my knees," she said. "I had feared it my entire life. I was terrified that when it happened I wouldn't be able to go on. In fact, I was sure of it. A life without my mother was and is unimaginable to me."