Dads Widowed Sept. 11 Raise Children Alone
March 11 -- Though Kayla Richards is too young to know just who is missing, she is wise enough to stick close to her father, saying 'Da-da, dad-da," over and over as though to reassure herself that he is still there.
It has been six months since Sept. 11, and Hopeton Richards still recalls with disbelief how the day his wife died got off to such an ordinary start.
"It was just a normal routine day," Richards recalled. "I kissed my wife and my daughter goodbye, and I said 'see you later.' And I didn't expect that I would still be waiting for my wife to come home...Because the way she left, I never anticipated her leaving like that."
His wife of three years, Venetia, worked at Marsh & McLellan, an insurance company with offices on the 100th floor of Tower 1 at the World Trade Center. Before Sept. 11, the Richards' days were like any other family's routine. But now a 'normal' day means that Richards is acting as father and mother to Kayla, their 18-month-old daughter, who will only know her mother through pictures.
‘A Reason to Keep on Living’
Richards is just one of the widowed fathers struggling to forge a new family in the ashes of his own expectations. As the dads who were left widowed on Sept. 11 raise their children alone, many must also keep their own grief from overwhelming the simple joys of being a toddler, or intruding on the simple world of a baby.
Since Sept. 11, Richards has gone back to school so that he has more time to spend with Kayla. As he finishes up his degree, he leaves Kayla in day care for a few hours each day, then devotes the rest of his time to the toddler. She is the image of her mother, and Kayla's resemblance to his wife both hurts and helps, he said.
"Without her, I don't think I would ever be able to live my life like a normal person again," Richard said. "If I didn't have her, then everything that I had would be gone. And thank God for her. She keeps me going. I just focus on her. She gives me reason to keep on living."
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