How to Talk to Your College Freshman

Dec. 27, 2006 — -- If you are worried about the college freshman in your life, follow these tips from Jane magazine Editor in Chief Brandon Holley on what to do and what you should look out for.

If your worried about your kids, talk to them, but the exchange needs to be a conversation, not an interrogation.

Instead of saying "Are you doing drugs? Are you drinking?" talk about a third party.

For example, you could say something like, "I read this article on college binge drinking. Have you seen any of that at school? What do you think?" It's not that kids don't want to talk to you. They want to tell you what's going on, but if they sense they are going to be punished for it, they won't be as forthcoming.

Kids may not realize how powerful their particular medication is or how it interacts with alcohol. So if you're going to refill a prescription, you may just want to say "Oh, did you realize that you need to be careful on this particular drug?"

Also, when kids come home, that's when they tend to make doctor's appointments to take care of things they didn't have time for during the semester, so that's always a way to get into that conversation.

Your child will have changed for sure after his or her first semester at college. This is the biggest change in their lives, going from a structured environment to a more autonomous one. But be sure to watch out for excessive weight gain or weight loss, and signs of depression.

Trust your parental instincts here. Is normally social child not interested in interacting with people? Are they unresponsive? Are they ambivalent about things?