Transcript for Let People Down and Succeed in 2012
-- Tory Johnson and this is where. You can't please all of the people all of the time as the saying goes so our guests -- you better get used -- disappointing people if you want to succeed logging super start Johnny -- is here to tell us how let people down could actually be a good things for you. In 2012 -- John. Hate towards -- back absolutely so you say that there is some freedom that we will feel if we except. That we're just -- what people actually. There's a great amount of freedom and that it's it's a very comforting thought and you remove the sting of a surprise of that moment at the end of the day we realized. I think I -- some people down. And so help us and get comfortable with this idea of letting people down and -- one of the things that -- you point out is that. In some way we are all I -- liars and admire in others it does does the -- -- -- like those those little polite politically correct white lies a little like half truths like well let's have lunch sometime and you say we should quit doing things like that. -- I got caught in one and it was really uncomfortable I was out of business event and somebody said we are in Michigan in the -- of -- -- you know grab coffee with you the national civil let me know next time you're there. And he said I'll be there tomorrow. And we both just looked at each other -- -- in that moment we had no intention of ever having coffee. And so we stood there in the collective -- until he walked away. And siren -- that I was telling a whole host of people. Let's grab dinner let's grab coffee here we should have a meeting about that and they were true statement seismic -- just stop saying them. And it really free me up to really say the true thing to have my yes mean yes and I know me know. And so like that so that's a perfect example summits as you know we -- copy the next time you know weren't -- -- something like that what you say if it's not that little white lie what -- -- day. -- really depends on the person and if it's a colleague that your work with. I think you have to handle it differently than say a stranger who just wants to grab coffee. When I started to say is I'd love to do that but I'm focused on a lot of things right now site you know I appreciate the invitation and I'm not going to be able to do that. And I think that -- lets them know it's not gonna float there is not going to be this open loop that you're constantly feeling bad about. But you've settlement you've been honest and let them know. I really appreciate the idea about but for right now I've got a lot of things I need to focus on and that's the whole thing about -- -- the right people is that. And you don't disappoint the wrong people and -- deliberate about holding your promises and keeping your time in the right place. And that's one of your really big messages which is to boundaries and and -- -- expectation. And that they don't have to. To be complicating you know a really simple boundary that any parent earning spouse can set is that. When you come home hang up and arrive you know we often say hang up and drive but. Hang up in Iraq because when you come home. It's a great way to make your kids feel like second place when you come on a cellphone they run down the stairs for a hug you say -- we wait I have to finish its phone call. Nothing makes your kids feel like a silver medal more than that move or a spouse feel unimportant so finish the call in the driveway and then walk in and be available -- that boundary of. I'm here now for my family. Speaking of of family and those -- comic. Any sense for us of who we shouldn't disappoint -- it's located disappoint and it's definitely not located at some point. Well it's fairly I don't think it's located disappoint and often the challenges they -- voice their frustrations -- being disappointed. And tell your world blows up a boss will let you know it's -- you disappointed him or her a family member a mother a daughter -- sister. They might hold that it until it some some real damage is done as far as work relationships I think he often characterized some people like to be disappointed. They look for disappointment that's their filter so there some people that. You might not be able to please and you've got to get comfortable with the idea I've done my job I've worked as hard as I possibly can I met all their expectations. And they still might be disappointed and that's okay. And finally done you say that we should not on the believe this this whole thing that sort of we -- though Orlando later. Yet he's seen that manifested -- of people say. I'm working right now so that my kids can have the Cadillac I want them have later. But the challenges. Kids don't believe and later they believe in right now that's the only time frame they understand I've never met a thirteen year old -- -- you know what. My mom and dad went around for the first and -- my life I -- really sweet mountain Mike now sort all balanced out I mean. He missed my formative years but it's a full suspension -- disc brakes where even I got a good later so you can't. Disappoint the wrong people right now I think you can fix it later so it's great to focus right now who cannot really keep my commitment student who -- -- to kind of offset some of the expectations. A really big important reminder message rest of focus on the beginning of the new year he got a blank -- you know you can make the right choices going follower and I -- that -- to help a lot of people that you have a big -- conference coming up in February tell us a quick what that's all about. Yes February 10 and eleventh in Nashville Tennessee it's basically how do you close the gap between your day job -- your dream job. As you're well aware of -- a lot of times you talk to people don't do and I'm but statement -- -- what do you do an assay. I'm a teacher. But I want to be an artist -- -- stay at home mom. But I want to start my own business so it's that that answer to. When you find yourself in that position instead of -- job after job after job which is what I did I was a serial quitter eight jobs -- eight years. You pausing go how -- I figure out what my dream is an hot like take the right steps toward that says can be -- -- -- event. You can sign up -- John Acuff dot com slash events and we'd love to see -- All right sounds good thanks so much -- -- -- any time. I certainly -- -- -- -- -- -- -- and I you can learn more about -- conference -- -- his way -- he -- on -- dot com.
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