daughterone wrote: I have it a little better than some. Mother is in assisted living, and has managed her money well. She's been a widow since 1970. But the dementia is something neither one of us can handle. Agressive behavior, unable to remember what day it is, numerous falls, and other factors add to the stress of me and my siblings. I feel bad if I don't feel I visit her enough, she wants me to come everyday, but the conversation consists of the same questions and the same answers she gives. It's a forced conversation and I am usually tired after work, or look forward to my weekends without the agonizing trip to assisted living. She knows that she is not in the best of health, but still wants us to take her on vacations, all expenses paid by her. I agree, it's not only the monetary stress, it's more the physical/mental stress. And yes, we all are living longer these days...I certainly want to. But I know that I could be a problem to my family when I get older. But what's the answer? Hope that we die young and have a good looking corpse? Not me. I hope that in my 80's I still have a functional mind and body to the point that I can still be independent. Don't you?
Kimbersez wrote: The hardest job I've ever had.My folks are 88 years old. Mom is in pretty bad shape all around, but just able to remain at home. Dad is in fair condition considering his age, and insists that he will never leave his house. He does his best to help Mom, but I'm sure he gets overwhelmed when he has to clean the feces up in the bathroom after Mom has an "accident".My two sisters and I have a schedule that changes weekly. Everyday, one of us is there to feed them because they can no longer cook for themselves, let alone shop for groceries. The house must be cleaned, laundry done, lawn mowed, etc. And Mom "begs" for more company, claiming "no one ever comes by".It's horrible. It's a nightmare to watch my parents spiral down. But we are there for them.When I look into the future at how long this will go on, it is completely overwhelming! So I just look at each day as it comes along, and deal with what needs to be dealt with.I do realize that they are lucky enough to have just enough savings to suppliment their social security.I guess I'm lucky to still have both parents at this point, but it's hard sometimes to FEEL lucky.One day at a time LORD, one day at a time !
DonD wrote: While I have nothing but respect for those who care for their elderly and often failing parents, those who talk about how much they will do haven't done it yet and there's a big difference.My mother was a wonderful person until she got Alzheimers which of course cost her her mind. and soon after, her life. It was incredibly difficult dealing with her, no amount of patience could convey the message you wanted to send. This period was at its worst when my Dad was in the hospital with a heart attack, most likely brought on by the stress of dealing with her. Some people just can't deal with these situations and it isn't a sign of their personal failings.People with physical handicaps who have a good outlook on life are easy to deal with and support. When the person you love loses their mind, the person you know is, sad to say, gone.