How Can I Help A Friend Or Loved One With Breast Cancer?

Mary Jane Massie, M.D., Director, Barbara White Fishman Center for Psychological Counseling, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center

September 25, 2007

Question: How can I help a friend or loved one with breast cancer?

Answer:I think increasingly what we're understanding is the best offer of help is not asking somebody what I can do, but saying: "Tuesday night I'm bringing over dinner. Wednesday night I'm coming over and I'm going to help you clean up that front room, or as a matter of fact just leave the door open, I'm going to clean up the front room for you and it'll be terrific when you get home."

Offering concrete offers of help are extraordinarily appreciated when we're sick. Many women like to be accompanied to clinics or to chemotherapy sessions or to radiotherapy sessions; and offering to be the driver that day, offering to sit with a woman during her treatment can be very helpful. If you're not someone who likes to sit in hospitals, offer to stay home and babysit that day so a woman can go and get her treatment.

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