It's okay to let your fires cool during the Yule, but try this if you'd like to turn up the heat for better sex:
Sure, you'd like to bake cookies for your kid's holiday party, your in-laws, and everybody at work while attending every holiday party you're invited to. But all of that hustle and bustle can turn your sex drive cold when it's time to hit the sheets. Sit down with a calendar, map out all your commitments, and build in some downtime to recharge your batteries.
Eat Well to Increase Sexual Hunger
"One of the best things women can do for their own sanity and feelings of wellness and their sex drive is to eat well," says Herbenick. Be sure to get some mood-boosting, calorie-controlling exercise (even if the weather is terrible, and try to relax before bed, perhaps by stretching. "All this can help women feel well and be more open to sex."
Getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and not smoking are more important than many people realize, too. (Before you roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah," give it a try.) "Alfred Kinsey wrote about the value of a healthy lifestyle to sex decades ago, and yet we still need reminders of this," says Herbenick.
Feeling sexier can increase your sex drive. For a quick feel-good fix, Women's Health magazine offers suggests wearing a boatneck top to show off your shoulders. "It's one body part that you can always count on to look good," says Women's Health senior fashion editor Thea Palad.
Tune In to Your Erotic Cues
"As I wrote in Because It Feels Good, there are many 'erotic cues' that can help to boost sex drive, too, including reading erotica (we suggest these 8 books for your bedroom), watching erotic videos together, dressing sexy, or looking for something in your partner that you find appealing or attractive."
Give Yourself the Gift of Good Vibes
If you're without a partner this holiday season, don't be bummed. Herbenick recommends a nontoxic vibrator or dildo to spike your pleasure. In fact, using these green foreplay tools can even reverse a low sex drive in women with partners. (Need more ideas? Check out 8 All-Natural Sex Products We Love.)
Women and men concerned about their low sex drive should check in with their healthcare provider first to make sure that all is well. Some medical conditions and medications can interfere with libido, as can some low hormonal states (particularly relevant to women as they approach menopause), explains Herbenick.
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