In not accepting a death, they ask, "What if my loved one is being held or mistreated? Should I contact one more authority? How will I celebrate the holidays?" she said. "They fight on because they can't confront the burden on themselves. How can I move forward and be happy?"
Families like those waiting for news of Flight 370 will need help "adapting to chronic uncertainty for the rest of their lives," said Rando.
"This presents the most difficult situation possible," she said. "You manage it, but you don't heal. And some do better than others.
People can only make it worse for these families by saying, "you are unwilling to accept reality," she said. "It's not their fault."