Saving Relationships Through Tantric Tai Chi?


Another couple, Dave and Joanne from Kansas City, who have been married for 11 years, said after having kids, their relationship became like work. They said they wished they had come to a program like this earlier in their relationship.

"It's powerful, really powerful," Joanne said.

"A lot of this practice of meeting each other and focusing on each other, that's helped a lot," Dave added. "We've been surprised at how powerful it's been."

The retreat also came with tantalizing afternoon homework assignments, or, as the Daffners called it, home "play" assignments. Participants are instructed to go back to their hotel rooms and try different exercises, such as having the men give the woman intimate massages, but the women can't return the favor.

"We're all unique," Diane Daffner said. "Our whole body is a unique sexual map and it can change from one day to another."

The group then gathered later in the evening to share their experiences and there were varied results. "It took a little time for me to relax and get comfortable with it," Laurie said. "I thought it was a great experience for me."

Other couples didn't fare so well.

"It brought up a lot of issues and it highlighted the whole reason why we're here," Joanne said. Her husband Dave said he was "rather angry" and "disappointed" during the exercise and didn't understand why it was so one-sided.

"I actually felt a sense of betrayal," he said. "We were honest with each other, but honesty hurts sometimes, and you know, we had to work through it. But I think we've done a great deal together."

On the final morning of the retreat, the couples were given lessons on how to make their new-found fun last after they got home. The Daffners said they hope every couple leaves their retreat reinvigorated as better friends and better lovers.

"I feel, not just hopeful," said Rick, one of the participants. "I feel that we seriously accomplished something here. I mean, huge."

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