What About the Petraeus-Broadwell Spouses?

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How Good Were the Marriages?

The key is whether the marriage has been a good one. If so, she'll "find a way to stay with dignity."

"There's a lot pushing both people to stay," Schwartz said of the Petraeuses.

For the Broadwells, much will depend on how he can deal with the "enormous amount of exposure and humiliation factor," said Schwartz.

"But there are men who stay who love their wives desperately," she said. "Men are capable of great love, too. You can't discount that. ... But you have to be a very strong man to withstand that kind of knowledge."

Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a Columbia University psychologist and author of the "Complete Idiot's Guide to Relationship," agreed.

"[Scott Broadwell] has a lot at stake here," she said. "He's got his reputation."

As for Holly Petraeus, Kuriansky, a military brat herself, suspected that the four-star general's wife is probably a realist.

"She shouldn't have been majorly surprised," she said. "Being a veteran herself, and knowing her husband was away and in a powerful position, this woman would have had to have blinders on."

As for her husband, "The temptations are tremendous," said Kuriansky. "He would have to have been iron man."

None of the psychologists condoned Petraeus' infidelity, including Kuriansky. But having met the general at an October military ball in New York City, Kuriansky said she, too, was mesmerized

"He was gracious and handsome -- a good-looking guy, fit and such a gentleman with a big smile on his face, very approachable and not cold," she said. "He had the same charm as when I have met [President Bill] Clinton. ... When he speaks, you feel he is present."

And, like Petraeus, Clinton had his monumental affair, and Hillary Clinton, now a dynamic secretary of state, is still standing by her man.

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