“There are a lot of conflicts and marriages are tested,” she said. “It’s interesting that women in their 60s and 70s just up and leave their husbands.”
That’s just what Loh did after her Burning Man adventure. But she said that today at 52 she “feels good now,” and the cloud of menopause is lifting.
Today, Loh is happily living with Mr. Y, even though she is “still pretty convinced I won’t marry again.” Her children, now 12 and 13, split their time between both their parents.
Her advice to other women?
“Buy my book and laugh about it so you can relate to someone who is really falling apart,” she quips. “The first thing is to admit how destabilizing this can be and how unglued we can feel.”
She urges women to indulge a little: “Have that Dr. Pepper or chocolate or Chardonnay, a personal trainer – or even one cigarette a day. Do something that feels good. Look forward to a massage or a fluffy robe.”
Loh confesses, early dinners alone, letting the housework go and ironing her daughter’s t-shirts float her boat.
“I don’t iron well,” she said. “But there are certain domestic skills that are mindless. It feels nice and warm – and it’s now smooth.”