Home Funerals: An Old Tradition Returns

Oct. 21, 2004 — -- For centuries, caring for dead relatives at home was a traditional part of family life. Bodies were laid out in a dining room or parlor, and visitors dropped by to spend time with the family and pay their last respects to the deceased.

Now, a dedicated group of home funeral advocates is trying to recapture that tradition and, by doing so, change the American way of dying.

But their efforts may run contrary to the interests of the multibillion-dollar commercial funeral industry.

"The typical American funeral is a commercially created tradition," said Joshua Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, a grassroots organization raising awareness of alternative funeral choices.

"The general line in the industry is that a traditional funeral has a fancy casket and a hearse. But the truly traditional funeral in America is a home funeral," Slocum said. "The dead were laid out at home, and the family was more involved. Chances are the casket was purchased from the local cabinetmaker."

Slocum points out how, in most countries around the world, the home funeral is still the norm. "Only in the U.S. and Canada will you see embalming and putting bodies on public display, then buried in mass-manufactured steel caskets and concrete or marble vaults," he said.

For Rebecca Love, the best way to honor the death of a close friend was through a home funeral.

"He was like a brother to me," Love said of her neighbor Tommy Randal Odom. "We'd been like family."

An artist living in Sonoma County, Calif., Love found the process of preparing Odom for burial was filled with emotion.

"It's tough, in a sense. He was my friend," she said, "But I wanted to honor his passing. It's a beautiful way of preparing your loved ones for their final journey, and it's beautiful closure."

For guidance on how to conduct a home funeral, Love turned to Jerri Lyons, an experienced home funeral guide who lives in the area. She also turned to the Bible.