Mama's boys -- the easy target of teasing they can even make potential girlfriends -- -- fears that the name. But author Kate still -- Barney says gotten close relationships to their mothers get a bad... See More
Mama's boys -- the easy target of teasing they can even make potential girlfriends -- -- fears that the name. But author Kate still -- Barney says gotten close relationships to their mothers get a bad rap and are actually stronger. Because of that close -- she wrote the mama's boy admit looking at the relationships between mothers and sons that she's here with us -- to talk about what she found on this. Kate thanks for being with us today and he's a first up define what a mama's boy is sort of in the pejorative the negative term that we are we -- for -- When we think about a mama's boy we think about a guy who's. Kind of sleepy village may be a little bit of -- and it's all -- dependent on his mama can't make a move -- matter. And he's never gonna grow up to be a strong independent and that is what we always get from the teasing the targeting and all that kind of that the negative -- So why did you write this book then. Well I have the book because there was nothing like this -- hair. Out there I have a very close relationship with my son and asset come to find out -- so many other months. Britain didn't look anything. Like that mess that we see in -- on movies and commercials of this week die in this domineering mom and fact. Mott most -- and -- -- feel there really raising independent mostly intelligent guys so there was such a disconnect between them I must point Emmons. And what I was -- I thought it needed to be -- obvious as he got a close embrace with his son already there needs now a healthy 23 year old he. Obviously you know you -- the example on this. So what did you find then as you -- doing research for this book. Well I think that really it's time to turn conventional wisdom on its head everything we've been told -- moms and science. That keeping them close makes them -- independent. It's the the opposite is true keeping a close gives them the security that they need and the entire emotional intelligence that they need to go on to become independent activist. You'll find some of the risks from some of those studies that you were looking at some of the risks included like abandonment. -- hostility towards others a lack of of control. And it was -- I can across the board that you found when it when a mother actually kind of pushed her son out a little early. Yeah I found across the across the board that is not good to push your son -- before he's ready and very good to keep from class. When he is a little guy when he's a baby if you if -- push their sons away rather than -- them they get these messages. Hey if you want your son to be independent. You really need to make him stand on its own two feet. When that's done went before a little guy is ready. Studies have now shown that those little boys grow up to be more aggressive more hostile they have behavior problems they don't listen to -- so it's really not good for them. And you said you also -- some -- the benefits suspect. Avoiding risky behavior about sex about drugs about any kind of yeah bad behavior that led to -- -- in trouble later on in life. It's almost like an inoculation when they're close to their moms and inoculate them against you know unhealthy behavior when they're older. And it's true starting in school age there are studies that connect. Boys who are close to their moms have less depression and less anxiety and at a mental health and by the time they're teenagers those who are close to their moms. Take less -- -- -- less susceptible to that kind of negative peer pressure that'll get them involved in alcohol and drug use unprotected unprotected sex. Actually not for -- -- that good parental communication. We'll keep teens safer but the new studies are showing that it's actually moms who -- the most influential with boys on the -- That's really -- so what did you find out from the -- -- spoke with what did you find what they do is a common way that their parenting. I think that a lot of moms -- now are are testing their instincts went there with their sons not buying into those old messages and really keeping them clubs you know -- there there's certain things moms do that that help in keeping boys class. For one thing as a said that they trust those instincts -- -- listen to those messages. Some are actually carving out special time with their -- their establishing traditions whether it's so they can -- as little as you know walking the dog together every day. Sometimes they don't musicians museum -- but the idea is -- -- at time away from the rest of the family -- just the two with them can be together and -- situations. Points ten and a. It's fascinating it's it really is very interesting. Being an unashamed mama's boy myself I have no problem -- was very excited he's glad I was I was interested to see. What the studies that you had the results from all of us thank you so much Kate still Lombardo the book is called the mama's boy -- It is out now might be a great Mother's Day present as -- but I think our thanks Kate thanked him.
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