Transcript for Materialism and the Holidays
Us kids the holidays are all about presence but has our culture of gift giving just turned into a bad habit of over indulgence. And are we teaching our kids to be materialistic. Joining us now with tips on how to save your child from catching the over indulged materialistic bug. Is child psychologist doctor Renee -- -- -- -- thank you so much for joining us today waits to be here so is this season this gift giving season just a license to spoil our kids. Well. It can be it doesn't have to be the message is that we want to connect. Gift giving and receiving with feelings celebration and heritage ancestry all the things at the holidays are really about. And what we -- used by into the consumerism. And think more is better. Or bigger is better and that's where things go wrong -- I don't for a lot of families though Christmas really is the big gift giving time of the year. A lot of presents on Christmas now -- is this a mistake I mean is it okay to spoil your kids just once a year. So here's what I say give parents a little tests that they can -- -- and I think parents think about the last holiday he spent with your child. And visualize them opening the gives me the opening gifts -- there. Really love it -- they get to give to that's great. Graham the third -- fourth gift you start to see the energy -- a little -- and and -- want to. But very action they're telling you sometimes you giving me more than acting process or more than I can -- and -- So when you see and we booked on the appearance -- over to the kids today. Hey look what about this -- once it gets the point where you're trying to convince your kid that the gift is exciting you've reached your Max you've reached your boundary for how much they can process. And can't. So what I -- because you know parents don't always. Only by the Christmas present their present from Grammy they have presents from aunts and uncles -- cousins. So do you say spread out the -- over a couple of days or do you hold -- back. Well what I -- I tell parents to tell kids ahead of time that there's a boundary -- there's a limit here on how much you're going to give. And I tell aunts and uncles and grandparents the same thing. And then what I do tell kids can sometimes you you can't help that you get what I say think about keeping that. Other get that extra gift to a charity or a kid that might not have the resources you -- And again it's getting back to connecting with the feelings and -- the holidays really about how so many kids also that this that the young ages. Compared gifts and compare holidays with their years. How you talk your kids about not falling -- this kind of peer pressure over -- Bob Ward gets -- about what gets. Yes it's definitely hard for parents to kind of teach the skills and -- the lesson. No matter how much I -- you someone -- is always gonna have more. You know and more is not always better bigger is not always better and when I see happening with parents is that there's -- -- they know. And nobody wants to disappoint their kids right -- hear is the key. Kids that grew up -- had no disappointment in their lives get everything they want are always entertained. Looked to have that happen throughout their lives -- when he doesn't. They're not able to -- as a parent should not -- disappointing our children and asked we should be aware that that is part of parenting. It's part of parenting and it's actually teaching -- developmental test the kids need to grow into mature adults right and I think parents you'd rather have -- experience. Disappointment to you can -- fanatical in your home. Then a roommate in college teaching them how to -- -- later on in life right now you have a great list of tips for parent perspective that you know preparing for the holiday season. You say shop for your kids of course but don't overdo it stick to that what Green president. It depends on the age of I would say around three to four -- and sometimes with teenagers it's that one big if they really want that here designer jeans -- some accessories -- keep it to that. Now do you put up. Price limit on that -- sometimes that one get that the teenager wanted a new Mac laptop up into hot I want you don't have parents can kind of negotiated it's an olds are too nice of you getting Mac laptop you're not gonna get tons of other things and kids -- very -- usually. They they will show that gratitude for that one Mac laptop that's and that's what you when it really get the gratitude hooked and that's right and so -- part of this becomes going to say not. Yes right which is very very to. -- but parents have to realize it's a developmental task you need to say -- teaching kids to cope. And also to teach them happiness doesn't come from things and stuff on the outside and happiness comes from -- it right that's very very important and you also. Have a very good tip for parents which I think a lot of parents forget -- every wish. Doesn't have to country we're not there to -- -- make -- all our children's wishes are realized absolutely and again that goes back to teaching kids. How to cope so many times -- kids don't know how to cope. They go -- behaviors so they're looking for again things outside of him which could become. Drugs at risk behavior sex -- any sort of thing as their older. -- to make themselves feel good right and it is important to remember that you shouldn't by the -- simply because -- can afford them. Right it's not you know -- -- -- parenting is a job and an -- job description is to raise kids with values. Every once in -- we did you performance reviews and our -- right traffic traffic and any -- so often when our children are disappointed. We as parents don't know what to do and sometimes we. Throw money at a problem and by the -- president -- a little you know. Knick knack thinking how it's only five dollars and it makes them happier but it's the message that we're -- -- the message remember performance review it's our job to teach values. Is my behavior as a parent matching up the values and we teach much thank you so much doctor and -- -- well thank you.
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