A 2-Year-Old Is Very Clingy. What Could Be Going On With This Child? What Should A Parent Do?

— -- Question: A 2-year-old is very clingy. What could be going on with this child? What should a parent do?

Answer: When I think about a 2-year-old who is described as clingy, I think about a couple of different things. First of all at about 18 months of age kids are normally experiencing some mild separation distress. And it wouldn't be unusual for that separation distress to continue for a bit longer until the youngsters age 2. So the first thing is to figure out whether this is just a normal experience of some separation distress that young children actually have. If it's more than that then I think about something happening with the child, or happening with the parent, or some kind of interaction-al factor between the two of them.

So for example if a 2 year old is sick or unwell in some way he may be more clingy express more distress and want to be closer to the parent. On the other hand sometimes the child is just fine but sometimes the parent is experiencing some difficulties, so for example, some depression, or preoccupation with stressful life events. In that case the child will be clingy in part to soothe or address the needs of the parent.

Last it can be an interaction- the child can be a little bit more clingy, the parent can have some difficulties and between the two of them they begin to cling to each other in a way that's not helpful for either.

So what's the family to do? Well it's oftentimes helpful if the family can identify just what the issue is -- is it normal developmental issues? Is it related to the child? Or is it related to the parent? Or if it's an interaction? I suggest that most parents in this situation discuss the issue with their pediatrician. As pediatricians are very familiar with just these kinds of issues and ought to be able to provide guidance about whether this is a developmental problem or something more serious that needs to be considered.