Jao, unable to hold back tears, sobbed as he told ABC News that she was killed while helping students get out.
His son leaves food out at night for his mother in case she comes home.
Those who aren't grieving or digging are standing in line. Huge lines for all sorts of necessities from water to food snake throughout the city. A line for gasoline stretched several miles.
A government official, when asked what did China need most, replied, "Everything. People need everything."
In an unusual appeal for China, it broadcasted a plea for donations of food, clothing, even digging tools and boats.
The scenes of devastation have galvanized Chinese citizens who are giving blood, donating money and raising money on the Internet and with text messaging.
The country's Olympic gymnastic team has donated money along with the national table tennis team.
NBA star Yao Ming, China's most famous athlete, was planning to donate $285,000 to the relief effort, agent Erik Zhang said.
"My thoughts are with everyone back in my home country of China during this very dark and emotional time," Yao said in a statement from Houston, where he is recovering from a broken left foot. He hopes to compete in the Beijing Olympics in August.
Dujiangyan city was clogged with buses and trucks decked out with banners from companies saying they were offering aid to the disaster area. One tour bus was stuffed full of water bottles, cartons of biscuits and instant noodles.
Public donations so far have totaled $186 million in cash and goods, China's news agency Xinhua said.
Jo Ling Kent and the Associated Press contributed to this report.