It's a bird! It's a plane!! It's … Squeegeeman and Captain Xavier Obvious?
That's right. Squeegeeman and Captain Obvious are self-proclaimed superheroes -- much like the Fantastic Four or the Amazing Spiderman, only they're real people … and not that super.
They stalk the mean streets of New York City. Squeegeeman wields his squeegee of justice, squeegee gloves and squeegee grappling hook, while Captain Obvious uses his megaphone of truth through which he dispenses the obvious -- his particular superpower.
"Usually, it's just the sight of me that prevents people from doing crime. It's like having a lot of cops around," Squeegeeman explained.
Squeegeeman and Captain Obvious patrol New York in their superhero costumes, complete with capes, masks and, of course, their superpowers. And while they do claim to fight crime all the time, their primary objective is to do good deeds.
They hand out water when it's hot, visit hospitals, plant trees and collect money for various causes like the AIDS walk.
According to Captain Obvious, we can all use a superhero or two in our life. "I can't imagine a world without heroes. There is always good, and there is always bad, and they need heroes to pick people out of the bad and into the good."
And apparently, being a superhero is a full-time job. It's what they do. They wouldn't reveal their identities to "Nightline," nor would they disclose the location of their secret lair.
So how does one become a superhero? Spiderman, for example, got bitten by a spider. Superman came from Krypton, and the murder of his parents set Batman on his path. Was Squeegeeman attacked by an evil squeegee?
"No, really, I was kind of born with Supersqueegee abilities," he explained. Captain Obvious said their motivation comes from instinct. "It's right to do the good thing, and not enough people do good things, so we need to bring attention to doing the good things."
Of course, all superheroes have their superweakness -- their personal kryptonite that renders them powerless. Captain Obvious spoke of his nemesis -- Indian food. "It's oppressive," he laughed. "You wouldn't be laughing if we were eating Indian food!"
While there is an undeniable humor to these caped crusaders, the costumes, quips and props might be what it takes to be a hero in a modern-day metropolis like New York City. And as amusing as they may look, there is substance behind their spandex.
"My main concern is apathy," said Squeegeeman. "I feel like in our modern society there is so much surrounding us every day, so many things going on … Xavier and we as Superheroes are trying to break the mundane. People go through life not caring, because there is so much going on. They don't have a chance to see what's really going on from day to day."
So the villain -- their arch-nemesis, you might say -- is apathy. Captain Obvious said, "There is a lot of time we are walking down the street and people don't even look. They are that indifferent … so what we are trying to do is bring attention to things that need that kind of attention. Good charities, good worthwhile causes."
As with fictional superheroes, at their core is belief. They believe in their cause and are dedicated to their mission. So if late one night, you're wandering through the dark streets of New York City and you see two caped men brandishing their squeegees and megaphones, never fear -- they are there for your protection.