Transcript for Getting Back Your Mojo After Having Kids
We all know that having kids changes everything, and for many, that includes their sex lives. The infrequency of marital relations, particularly for new parents has long been a punch line, and often a reality. But one woman is looking to change that. By helping mommys and a few daddies get their groove back. Here's ABC's Lindsay Davis. If this scene from quick knocked up" looks like a scene right out of your life -- What do you think? Should we have sex tonight? Ehhh. I'm just really constipated. This is jack. She's the mother of two adorable girls. That right hip is moving back. A part-time yoga instructor and is also a Dula who helps deliver babies at all hours of the day and night. Like millions of mothers of young children -- That's not to play with -- -- Jax can barely get through a conversation. And with her hectic schedule, there's hardly any time left in her day or night for this guy, her husband martin. Hi. Ever since having babies, Jax says she and her husband have become virtual strangers. I'm going to prepare them and then you have to cook them. In one area in particular. Would you say your sex life drastically changed post children? Yes. It's pretty nonexistent. After your first when you're nursing, this is for your children only, not anyone else. It's all about the kids. It's all about the two of us passing like ships in the night. Not quite in the league of this moment from "Bridesmaids." I need a trip that I can fantasize forever so I'm able to have sex with my husband. Reporter: But Jax was worried. Did your husband complain? No. And he's a good guy. He would mention it. He would say things, we need to do this. And I would be like yeah, yeah, or whatever. I'm just tired. I would rather sit with a glass of wine and the DVR, you know. That was my go-to. I had my own reasons for being curious. As a soon-to-be mom myself. Do you miss some of the romance and spontaneity that may have existed in your marriage that with kids is almost impossible? I will just say spontaneity, that's the right word. You can't just do things with the winds. Enter Dana myers, who sells everything from skimpy lingerie to, well, things we can't say on our show. At first, I thousand this is a whip. Now I'm going to guess this is a stimulator? Yeah. If you want to go "50 shades" style you can use a little extra oomph. Reporter: She began hearing store I Ares like Jax from many friends who have kids. So she started workshops for couples to get their mojos back. You're up night if your baby is not sleeping. There's this kind of cumulative exhaustion that happens. A lot of moms become very focused on the child. Andless focused on themselves and on presidethe relationship. Things start to take a bit of a nose dive in the bedroom. Reporter: When Jax's friend first e-mailed her for signing up for the class, she wasn't sure it was her thing. At first I ignored it. Reporter: But her friend would not take no for answer. She said I'm 7 months pregnant and I'm going to this. I thought oh, maybe it will be fun. A kiddy play space by day, but on this night, home to a group of young moms who drink wine, get glamed up and talk sex. Anybody read erotica this week? No. Reporter: And nothing is off the table. You field your orgasm building. Yep, he's got it, he's got it. And then he starts doing something that's too flicky, too fast, it's all wrong. You know what I mean? It's all wrong. No, no. Reporter: On the lesson Blan, an erotica Reading by a hunky guy and rehearsing a burlesque dance routine. Your man doesn't actually want you to be a porn star. He just wants you to have the enthusiasm that porn stars have. I would be more turned on watching a soap versus hi. Let me take my clothes off. Before you even know my needs. Dana says sometimes their lack of desire can come from resentment towards their husband. That seems to be a common theme where women feel like they cooked and cleaned and bathed the baby and spit up going down their back and their husband is kind of tapping them like hey, what about me? Right, yes, yes. And I think that what happens is women stop asking for help. Or sometimes our husbands will volunteer to help but we don't like how they're doing it. I tell the women first ask for help, ask for help in small direct requests. Say would you bring me dinner at 7:00? Would you come home early from work tonight to help me with bedtime. Did anyone use the "W" word this week? Reporter: After hearing about the teachings in the class, I have one burning question. How are you doing keeping up your homework assignments? It sounds like it's pretty rigoro rigorous. There's, like, five different things you need to do during the week. One long love making session. One quickie, two self-loving sessions for yourself. And then one special treat for your husband. Reporter: Have you heard about some of the homework assignments? Yeah. Reporter: Did you think they were good ideas? Sure. When I heard, I couldn't keep a straight face. Reporter: It's clearly a topic that some husbands may not be totally comfortable talking about. And with mojo homework also came a different kind of goody bag. I didn't even know what some of the stuff was. Reporter: What did you buy? I said I didn't buy anything. It came inned go Ned the goodie bag. So it kind of broke the ice. For every couple, spacing things up means different things. It might mean a different time of day. It might mean a different room. Before the kids came, martin and Jax didn't always struggle to have alone time. I was looking at this picture of you guys in tahiti. Did you have a lot more of those kinds of moment where is it was just the two of you prior to babies? Absolutely. The reason we don't have a house right now is because we always spent money on travel. Reporter: What would your advice be to me about how to keep the romance alive after you have the baby. Don't forget, you know, what brought baby into this world. I. I'm going to send you with your own mommy mojo goodie bag. Reporter: My husband thankses you for sure. And speaking of husbands, they need to be willing to change, too. They need to step up to the plate and say how can I help you, I want to make this better. Reporter: Jax and her husband have carved out more time for each other. Now we're trying to make a date night every week and we're not going to make excuses about it. We're going to talk tobt maintenance people about getting a lock on our door. We don't have a lock on our bedroom door. Reporter: For "Nightline," I'm Lindsay Davis in New York. To get more of Dana's tips, go to abcnews.com/nightline. Coming up next, we're taking off
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